Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML
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Top comments
sydie5 12
She will never look at Skittles the same again...
heyhihello95 12
Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.
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Comments (328)
mattdm91 0
Lol your wife sounds awesome! She shouldn't use that kind of humor on a small child though
ohmandapants 17
But...aren't rainbows supposed to be happy?! D:
L3g4lPl4typus 0
oh my god it's a double rainbow
dede9_fml 0
Why on earth would she tell her six year old child that!?
s8n666 0
But it's true.
sweetheartxoxo88 7
Your wife has it all wrong! The devil only beats his wife when it rains while the sun is shinning. Rainbows make him stop!
juicyfruit222 0
Wtf is wrong w her?!?
dakins 0
Ur wife is evil.......... O.o pure evil
perdix 31
Your daughter wasn't crying because of the diabolical spousal abuse. She was crying because her mom is an ignorant ass she doesn't know what "the devil beating is wife means" and she realized that half her DNA is contaminated with stupid genes.
k1ngd1ck 0
She is unfit to be a mother, that beast