Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML
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Top comments
sydie5 12
She will never look at Skittles the same again...
heyhihello95 12
Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.
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Comments (328)
bosco4life 7
WTF??!
Easye123 0
Ha! Your wife lied
kallisti 2
Why did you marry this she-beast?!?
morgan020 0
Haha my grandma would tell me something close to that when I was little. But it was the devil beats his wife when it rains while the sun is still out and it is an otherwise pretty day.
bullrider92 19
my grandma told me that too.I think it is an old saying in the south.
morgan020 0
I've only ever heard it in east Texas where my grandma lived. I've never heard it down here in south Texas. But my grandma was a little off too so who knows where she picked it up haha.
jayejayejaye122 3
I guess she'll cry at a double rainbow then...
sarah602 0
I'm sorry, but that's hilarious!!
theonlysweetpea 10
WTF is wrong with het?! Why'd you reproduce with Satan's mistress?
kaengelangeleyes 9
Your wife is a little sick, methinks.
Ruby246 0
Why the **** would she say that?!
onefinemess 11
Dude your wife needs to go to the funny farm. Who tells a kid that?