Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML
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Top comments
sydie5 12
She will never look at Skittles the same again...
heyhihello95 12
Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.
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Comments (328)
guitarplayer546 0
Just tell her the truth. There is no such thing as the devil
mofo123 0
What!?!! That doesn't even make sense, how did that come up?!?!
annigotammo 1
WTF is wrong with your wife? this screams mentally ill...
silversonic75 6
There are several discrepancies with that theory.... 1. The devil doesn't have a wife, and he subjects every person in Hell to eternal punishment. So he beats everyone in a special way that will make them experience torture forever without the concept of death getting in the way. 2. There are no rainbows in Hell, and it is not possible to see the sky from underground. 3. Finally, the devil is supposedly a demonic goat-man, not some kind of evil unicorn. Your daughter needs to know these things...
Lucysmom1 0
Wow that's just wrong of the wife
zombiekitten87 12
Wow, you're wife sounds like a really sweet lady. What a friggen jackass... Like, was that her idea of how to make your poor, innocent daughter smile? "oh, it's ok if bad women get beaten, Hunny, they deserve it!"
jkb2345 0
that sucks
taazer 12
Is your wife insane?? A four year old kid!!!! RAINBOWS :O
MsMeiriona 2
Wait, the devil has a wife now?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yea, and her name is hitler.
AnthonyN 5
I wonder what happens when there's a double rainbow O_O