Today, my wife told our six year old daughter that the devil beats his wife whenever there's a rainbow. Now she won't stop crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, I let my brother babysit my 6-year-old daughter. She learned 2 new words from him. One of them was "Hail" and the other one was "Satan". FML
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, my ten-year-old daughter now has a habit of going up to random strangers and acting all scared before pointing behind them and whispering, "El Diablo." FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my wife screamed and threatened to leave me… again. She does this about once a year, in response to an argument that she feels frustrated by. We have three amazing children and we're mostly happy in between these outbursts. Today she did it in front of our 6 year-old, who is now crying about our family. FML
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Top comments
sydie5 12
She will never look at Skittles the same again...
heyhihello95 12
Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.
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Comments (328)
Valentina_Baby 7
Lololololol
liorahlei 0
why???
ed11 1
Divorce ur scumbag of a wife please
yoursucklives 36
because **** you, that's why! no, i think it's because for little kids, things like this are scary, and they tend to cry when they're scared!
LiveLaughFML 10
introduce your daughter to Lucky Charms and work your way up from there =)
Finn_the_human 5
That's just an old wives tale.
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
You know... It just comes up in conversation...
zachherbert 10
What happens during a double rainbow, and who married the devil?
dwreck69 0
Best FML I've ever read. I'm gonna tell that to my kids
Laurenlou 24
Because his wife is crazy! Obviously!
Driveshaft 5
WTF is wrong with your wife? FYL, F your daughters life...get a divorce.
nerdfighteria 7
20- Thank you for that insight. I'm sure no one would have been able to figure that out without your help.
GardeningHoes 0
Because there is 666 people who said, I agree, your life sucks.
wastedcandy 3
Stop beating your wife OP
shovels 0
Because she's a beast
MareNostrum 0
When there's a double rainbow, the devil beats his wife and the girl he's cheating on her with, simultaneously. :0
Jazzo 1
I'm pretty sure it's when it's sunny while it rains is when the devil is beating his wife
sourgirl101 29
114 jazzo, I don't know why you're getting thumbed down. I always heard it as that expression too. (sun showers)
gojira666 7
Enough with the divorce bullshit. No wonder family values are at an all time low.
fricknugget 3
ur wife is asian.
tatababe 1
Who exactly did you marry?
jarlaxle1138 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Your wife is dumb enough to tell her kids that the devil(and in extension, god) exists? Already forcing it on her, give her a choice.
gynoid 0
2 snaps for #20... you're so smart. Who's a good boy
anton4223 3
....the op is the devil, and his wife married the devil. Get it,? She's telling get daughter she gets beat
atomicbaboon 0
44- My biology teacher. But, before their marriage, his name was Stan and he was just an average banker. Unfortunately, her evilocity forever changed him. His name is now Satan because it sounds more sinister.
jmrtheman 3
Shut the front door. That was funny as hell
stacianichole 2
I checked, front door's not open.
aubsx3 0
Wow OP you ******* idiot that's not even web the devil beats his wife! He beats his when the sun is out when it is snowing
punkin_26 16
First of all-spell check, please! Second-this isnt about WHY the devil beat his wife, it's about a crazy bitch mom telling her kid that PERIOD! Stupid F*cking people
PinkieKeen 20
19- hearts stars and horseshoes, clovers and galloons. hourglasses rainbows and tasty red balloons!
Monkeyone 0
Hahahahahaahhaha
heyhihello95 12
Now that kid will never be able to enjoy a rainbow, nice going.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I'm going rainbow hunter hunting. We must stop this atroscity ASAP.
flockz 20
i'll bring my pet leprechaun. you wont like him when he's angry.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Worse thing is that isn't even the proper occasion for that saying... That "expression" comes from a long time ago and is used when there is rain and sunlight at the same time.
drawmesunshine 17
That's an actual saying? How odd... Maybe she's not a heartless psycho, just a very confused woman who says inappropriately violent things to small children.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I hope you change your picture soon 54. I don't think the FML team allows nudity, and I can clearly see a nipple. Wouldn't want you to get banned dearie, I love all my comrades in FML.
Jordvt 3
Instead of that saying I was always told that when it was sunny and also rained it was a monkey's wedding... Much more age appropriate if you ask me :)
tona01 16
I was told that when it rains and it's sunny the witches come out and fly around looking for kids to eat( this isn't a joke)
cicatrice_fml 8
This was supposed to be in response to #27: Thank you....That's indeed the worst thing about this FML. My father once said, when the sun was out and rain was falling, "The devil's beating his wife with a frying pan," but he explained that it was just something he heard as a child.
False_Stupidity 42
To be fair, rainbows are only created when there's sunlight in the rain, so one is simply an adaptation of the other and equally valid, yet bad to be telling small kids.
jellybellygirl 0
I was told when it rains the angels were crying because I was such a bad kid.
Malkria 1
I wonder what happens during a Double Rainbow.... ??????
ImTheAlpha 30
I was told that when it's sunny and rainy at the same time that it was a fox's wedding.
DoggyDoggWorld 0
So much for rainbows......
MagicallyFat 12
Imagine a double rainbow ? Although that's evil for some weir reason that also sounds so freaking awsoume lol
zacharytk72 5
Taste the rainbow, bitch.
Tektite 14
LMAO /favorited
daxter136 0
¡N.W.A.!
Cheesecakee 11
Your wife sounds evil
vickiejiang1990 0
She sure does.. Maybe she's the devils wife that's y she knows this insight lol
00Lily00 0
It sounds like something a dad or uncle would say
BehindU 5
Tell your wife every time your daughter cries you'll beat her.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
It sounds like something I would say to my children. I probably will one day.
sydie5 12
She will never look at Skittles the same again...
jkb2345 0
i was 100th to thumbs up
LaughinStock 16
mmm taste the rainbow :D
Enigmax2514 7
Lol I was about to comment that the child would henceforth freak out at the sight of skittles when i saw your comment
RyNo24 4
Beat the rainbow
rusrsbrah 0
Taste the domestic violence.
tmaq973 7
Yet nobody gave a ****...
curleyQ97 9
174: i was 28th thumbs down.
enonymous 9
Don't tell her about what god does to the kittens when you surf the net
mitri_fml 3
Ceiling cat is in your ceiling watching yew ********** o_O
NoWaySick 0
nyan cat!
fluorescentadole_fml 8
omg another Trini!
cwells0430 12
Lmao
oops_im_fucked 8
What is she trying to do scar the child?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Anyone who marries the devil deserved to be beat anyway :P at least Satan is monogamous... :D
EnterNameHere001 5
It never said he was monogamous just said he was married.
Rectov 10
Well if you look at Greek mythology someone was forced to marry him... So yeah
jeezburger12 10
What the hell is wrong with your wife??
cainesgirl 0
H-town as in houston??