Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
Kris1987_fml 0
as opposed to a non 9 month pregnancy?
RavenNight 0
what do u mean she had the balls? get over urself its her body she can do wat she wants.
hurleycat 6
Just suck it up. You can wait until she's given birth. You should always agree with a pregnant woman.
September_fox 2
You've actually met a pregnant woman before, haven't you? After reading a lot of the comments, I'm pretty sure you're one of the only ones.
ducky_duck_duck 4
Believe it or not, it does happen! It's called Superfetation. In 2007, a British woman gave birth to a boy and girl who were conceived three weeks apart, with no undue complications. Look it up :D
Cegal 0
YDI for marrying an idiot.
619warrior281 5
she has the pu*sy AND the balls huh?
alexistheboss365 0
your wife has balls? what world do u live in because women don't have balls
Persephone1001 3
I actually don't know which is worse - the fact that she thinks that's possible, or the fact that you think it's ever OK to use the phrase "my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex". I don't date men who it requires balls to say no to. Get the doc to explain it to her, and if she still says no maybe she's just looking for an excuse to tell you to go **** yourself?
underdose 9
okay buddy calm down. your wife is going through the most awful and hellish thing that a pwrson can go through so your going to have to deal with it. if you havent figured it out once you have kids you wont have sex for a long time so maybe you should have thought that one through first
manda83 0
you married a dumbass