Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
ddderppp 0
way to steal from reddit. I keep seeing this shit on here
americanmade 0
I don't think you wife actually has ball.…
n8tivepride 1
Thats what happens when u marry an idiot
ashbashhh21 0
Fraternal Dizygotic Twins are possible for up to about a month. But 9 months? Really?
DudeFMLIsRad 0
haha you got pwned
elusivemuffin 0
Does she perhaps have two uteri? Hey it's possible.
pikle101 0
Your wife is a dumbass! she can't get pregnant again, if she's currently pregnant. the body's hormones stop the reproductive cycle. she just doesn't want sex with you lol
ymhbuckshot 0
sounds good. don't bitch.
f_ur_lifehaha 0
damn canadians never can trust them
September_fox 2
They don't need "just cause." It's their body. "I don't want to" is cause enough. Cheating is still a dick move, especially cheating on your wife who is having your baby.