Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (442)
AussieGuy1981 0
ABORT NOW!!! just in case the baby ends up with her intellect!!!
Ophelia550 0
Your wife is a ******* moron. Too bad for her...I was super horny when I was pregnant.
Toodkes 9
The narwhal bacons at midnight, my friend.
sweet2u22 9
I wasn't aware humans had a nine month gestation period, thanks for sharing that.
krista2009 0
is she dumb? you can't get pregnant again once you already are duh! wow
KimPersian_fml 0
i agree with #4 who would want to? shes ganna have mood swings. do you want your wifes nails in your balls for going to fast?
a_nutritionist 10
im not saying she has to sleep with him. im saying if someone refuses sex without a just cause for a long period of time then they shouldnt be surprised when they get cheated on.
Sketchisan 27
For everyone saying she's an idiot, it depends how late it is in the pregnancy. It's uncommon but not totally impossible for a pregnant woman to ovulate in the first month of pregnancy. My mom was pregnant with identical twin girls and less than a month later, got pregnant with a baby boy. They were able to tell that the pregnancies occurred at separate times because of fetal development. But, if you're more than a month in, you shouldn't have any problems with any unfertilized eggs coming along.
Sketchisan 27
BTW, it's her body, she can do what she wants with it, but yeah, try talking to her about it.
Nemmycakes 3
Omg she had the balls to tell you that? ****, she's lucky you don't knock her around, huh?