Today, my wife actually had the balls to tell me that we can't have sex for the rest of her nine month pregnancy, because according to her, "I don't want twins." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML
Today, my wife told me that when she was actually pregnant with her ex's child; she was insatiably horny and always wanted sex. Too bad for me, because the current pregnancy has made her repulsed by any sexual contact. Thanks for telling me, I guess. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, the good news is that my girlfriend is pregnant. The bad news is that twins run in her family. Worse, so do triplets, and I just recently lost my job. FML
Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to convince my husband that I'm not having an affair all because I refused to have sex with him. Apparently the fact that I gave birth to our twins 10 days ago isn't a good enough reason to turn him down. FML
Today, I announced to my fiance that I was pregnant with twins. He immediately called off the engagement, furious at me because we "agreed to only have one child". Sorry my embryo decided to split in two. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
Ehhh, your hand isn't THAT bad.
ADayToPierceTheV 0
sounds reasonable
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Comments (442)
CassieBoo143 12
she's blonde isn't she ?
avalyn 0
wow ur a jerk she was just looking out for you isnt your wife and childs happiness more important to you than sex
jaymar11 0
Look it up people--->Superfetation
avalyn 0
wow ur poor wife shes married to you maybe you should consider that she doesnt want to sleep with such a jerk and for all you saying abort go to choicesmemorial.org ps have a heart you jerk
SysMetRamm 0
did you know that its possible?... thats sad man, she knows more than you and your trying to make her sound stupid?..... smh haha
MonZairita 0
well i say your wife is an ignorant...cuz according to my uncle whos a GYN at mx. sex is great for her during pregnancy SHE CANT HAVE MORE SPERMS WORKING WITH HER OVARIES cuz her ovaries aré busy right Now durrrrrr
paeglesbagels 0
dude if she doesn't want it grow up and deal
deadbabyjesus 2
your wife is a retarded nazi **** nick **** smuggling cum Dickface monster ****** smasher.
Lovelyfailure 16
Ew, why would you want to have sex with someone pregnant? It'd be like you were doing it with your wife and your kid as well..
niqqaa23 0
take her to the doctor or something shit you guys need sex especially her being all hormonal