Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, my scumbag son slapped his girlfriend in front of her family, and her dad picked him up and threw him off a second floor balcony. Good for her dad, he deserved it, but now he's laid up at my place and I have to wipe his ass and listen to him whine. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son had to help out at the local retirement home for his community service. He got in serious trouble and came whining to me about it after he tried threatening some of the residents into taking part in a Harlem Shake video. FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
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Top comments
KittyJay 3
Leave him there. Punk bitches hit women...
calaholic35 0
Goddamn asshole..
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Comments (323)
peggi 2
actually the jersey shore guys would look down on him for hitting a woman :/
supermallam 4
I'm afraid you have fail twice he hit a women and idolises jersey shore all that's left to do is beat it out of him
bosu_no_youna 0
Let him rot in there.
MyWorldAway 0
I just have to ask. How old is he? My son just turned 19. This is the exact idiotic thing he would do. The people our children try to immolate convinces me more and more there will be a bunch of idiots running this country
Isa_fml 20
The word 'immolate' does NOT mean what you seem to think it means...
rocker_chick23 27
#285: OP's son wants to sacrifice himself by setting himself on fire? That's what immolate means, dumbass. The word you're looking for is emulate. Don't use big words if you don't understand what they mean.
dakotahgillmore 0
What a dick. Only complete douchebags hit girls
Caroline0417 1
Your son is the sub human scum
silencebabyy 23
On what episode/season does a jersey shore guy hit a girl?! But anyway thats just an excuse. Everyone knows youre not supposed to copy stuff from tv shows. Unless theyre cooking shows or something real thats worth copying
tildoorf84 7
reality tv garbage isn't allowed in my home! and your son is a low life, ydi
Calyx_fml 22
Let him rot.
marksoflove99 0
The Jersey shore cast are drunkin idiots but they don't hit women.