Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML
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Top comments
HerpYourDerp 7
What do you mean, "again"? How many times has that snake been missing in your apartment?
Buttsexpirate 9
While in the bathroom you're gonna hear "Feed me ssssseymour!"
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Comments (131)
jellybean5678 8
Snakes aren't attracted to blood. So I wouldn't worry about it.
rubberduckie72 4
what is it with all the dn snakes getting loose. thays why i like dogs. hard to loose a dog on the house.
eurostar710 11
Snakes aren't attracted to blood... Not human blood anyway. Unless she feeds it humans. I would know. I keep snakes. If she feeds it eats it generally won't strike anything else for food, just for self defense. Good luck to her, I hope she finds her snake and can get it back in its enclosure and warm again. Just be careful. You'll be fine :)
j_cat187 20
Mensal blood is different from regular bood. You're in the clear
hotaru2781 1
That sucks.
Justforlolz 14
2 - Damn, wish I was smart enough to think of that. ******* brilliant.
Ikickmidgets 11
at least someone's attracted to your dripping snizz...
eurostar710 11
I meant to say rats. Not eats. Sorry about that.
chosha_fml 27
Tell her if you find it first you're going to open the front door and let it out. Or kill it. That should make her look a little faster.
wilseibold 0
Snakes do mell but the thing is she has nothing to worry about they are not like sharks in being attracted to blood as long as she's not stickin a hamster or something of that nature in there it will leave her alone the heat on the other may attract it