Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Just as she took her shirt off, her phone rang. It was her mom, demanding she return home. Now I've been cockblocked, and my girlfriend's mom seems to be a goddamn clairvoyant. Awesome. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML
Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML
Today, after nearly two months of no sex, I got cockblocked by an unexpected visit by my mother. FML
Today, I was having sex with a guy I met and in the middle of it his mother called him. After stopping to answer the phone, he tried to put me on with her because she didn't believe anyone would actually sleep with him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
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Top comments
khaya 9
At least it wasn't during.
RecklessJellyBea 7
Women's intuition. Now the ultimate cockblock.
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Comments (213)
khaya 9
At least it wasn't during.
XxREXxX 0
relax bro, there will be many more opportunities
kalbrek009 20
Your avatar pic is hilarious!
armorf0r 7
She's got you bugged!
blackheart24 10
I think op's girlfriend texted her mom and said help me!!!
SCREAM4meeee 0
Sorry OP, I feel for you :/ used to happen to me allll the time -.-
McDougal2013 0
You deserved it.
McDougal2013 0
You deserved it.
charlie14670 0
You still had time... It's not like your first time would last long anyways
nava1210 12
I don't understand the big words (-_-) I'll go look it up and come right back..
nava1210 12
My "-_-" looks retarded =[
P374RD3D 9
#11 no, probably not
changesinme 0
Oh, what a close call for her mum
gojira666 7
Yea dude. In and out. Go.
gntfmlingnow 12
Ninjas, man. They're everywhere.
DjeePee 25
"You still had time... It's not like your first time would last long anyways" I completely disagree. Not only can a first time last pretty long, but (and this is even more important) if OP and his girlfriend continued to have sex, they probably would feel very stressed + do it in a hurry = not enjoy it that much. If they would have had sex, knowing that OP's girlfriend would have to leave in 5-10 minutes, would it still be worth to remember? First times are overrated, true true, but that doesn't mean you can't try to make it fun.
DynamicDave 11
Her mom's boobie sense was tingling.
urdirtyolduncle 15
Doesn't matter; had... *ring ring* ohh wait .. :(
blackheart24 10
143- your profile pic scaares me...
iluvhobos 5
Just a BIT of an overreaction. There'll be other times, OP.
MrKlutch 1
Try harder
FlexMaster 10
that is an egg situation
Miss_Kristen 10
Spooky..
pie29302930 0
Can I get a piece of you?;) hot damn girl ;)
NinaTatianna 9
Sorry if this comes off as rude, but "spooky" literally couldn't be more of an irrelevant term for this situation.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Spooky in reference to the fact that her mother just happened to call and demand that she return home right when she took her shirt off before having sex. That just might be her thought process. Now you look rude and unable to connect the dots.
nitram06 2
No Nina, not rude, you just come off as really stupid.
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Before we all start hating Nina, she doesn't speak English well and she might think of "spooky" means a very specific thing. I know when I try to speak Spanish, I can't comprehend a lot of simple concepts. I'm not dumb, I'm just not an expert at speaking foreign tongues.
DynamicDave 11
Perhaps if she doesn't know English that well, she shouldn't be a jerk to others who do. She could've politely asked how the word "spooky" was relevant or something like that.
Boygenius50 8
Sum 41 profile picture=WINNING
NinaTatianna 9
SORRY I thought you mean halloween. I am sorry I know english some well because we learn the vocabilary in school. sorry sorry to you
justcallmebro 0
Heyy Nina!
GeneralMotors 23
That is very awesome.
flamegrilled123 3
Forever alone
powderbluetang 11
Fyl. That's never fun.
Em_I_Am 5
You make it sound like it happens all the time.
kirsty1551 3
whats clairvoyant ? o.0
Em_I_Am 5
JFGI.
DynamicDave 11
http://lmgtfy.com/?q=What+is+clairvoyant%3F
jizzwold 21
127 you are the reincarnation of someone I know. So weird you look exactly the same.
RecklessJellyBea 7
Women's intuition. Now the ultimate cockblock.
JojoChuo 8
Mums seem to know it all D: like they're psychic or something...
ma22hm 0
beautiful chick
Buttsexpirate 9
"I sense a disturbance in the force".
popofiveoh 1
Clairvoyant. I like it!
sailoroftheseas 7
what is that word?
MrKlutch 1
Search up you lazy twip
flockz 20
mom needs her daily foot massage. thats why your girlfriend has such smooth hands.
kriegs444 5
Where did you get smooth hands out of this FML?
flockz 20
from the deep dark corners of my imagination. rather lovely place.
StoryOfTheYear 15
I can has invitation to said place?
The_Troller 14
105- flockz' imagination is not the place you want to visit. Just thinking about it... *shudders and stares into space*
minamail25 7
Your a creep!
uprising_fml 0
moms know their shit . next time, just hit silence :)
btnhdude 0
Nurple
bo1440 3
C C COMBO BREA.... Nah this thread isn't worth it. :p
iloveshim 14
Like she wouldn't of called back?
Lanceeden 12
I agree with #12
ReesesPuffs 0
There is no 12 yet... You're ******* #10.
ReesesPuffs 0
Oops, some kid deleted his comment like gypsy magic. I ish sowwy.
Lanceeden 12
Actually he's 9.
uprising_fml 0
^ she*
Lanceeden 12
Tea* ^
uprising_fml 0
^ squee ?*
Lanceeden 12
Sea* ^ wait wtf are we doing rhyming hahaha
ThreeSheetsGone 12
Purple
Llamassss 21
Bee!!!!