Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Lurker
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Not on a plane
Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML
Awwww, how sweet!
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Snek
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Psssssych!
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Top comments
amdraxx 1
Do a count each time you arrive and each time you leave. Nobody likes a loose snake
IvyOswin 17
Now's your chance to learn if you're an heir of Slytherin!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (73)
amdraxx 1
Do a count each time you arrive and each time you leave. Nobody likes a loose snake
FBellesLife 15
Luckily OP doesn't have to feed him. (You'd hope OP's neighbour had fed them before he left for vacation).
MisterEx 28
Nobody liked a loose snake? I am not sure about that. If you know what I mean *creepy smile and stare*
cakefete2 31
Yea, #1, Kim Kardashian would have to disagree.
teyyoshi 19
is there something wrong with her ?
asnakelovinbabe 16
I'm not sure what's so bad about this though. If he is a good hobbyist he will know how to keep his snakes properly contained. I happened to be that "friendly neighbor snake breeder" a few months ago and my neighbor was pretty interested in our snake room. Although I did give him a courteous heads up before he came over to not be surprised by the snakes, and I showed them to him in person. What OP's neighbor did was not at all courteous. But that doesn't make what he does bad. If you don't like snakes, so be it, but if your neighbor does it's his right to do as he pleases provided he isn't breaking the law and takes good care of his animals.
baconsdelight701 17
have fun, OP.
IvyOswin 17
Now's your chance to learn if you're an heir of Slytherin!
Earths_Venus 25
I love your HP reference! Thank you for making my night perfect!
patrickalamo 48
Or if you can speak parseltongue
KayDee29 31
Oh come on, I'm sure they're harmless. kind of like puppies! except slithery, and frightening... yeah no, that sounds like a fast train to nopeville!
bearstyle22 11
wakey wakey hands off snakey
MrConcise 35
"Wakey wakey, hands off penis." Oh, Randy...
Greenteamextreme 16
I see potential for a snake army in this.... Taking over the world one slythery day at a time! MUHAHAHAHAHAAAAA...
AHSFan 11
I would walk in.... say nope and probably leave the snakes there for the 12 days..... Ok that's a bit evil lol I would go but cry myself to sleep after.
Garnetshaddow 30
I don't like snakes much. However, I am crazy about my dogs and understand how nutty people can be about their pets. I'd go on a rampage if my dogs were left for 12 days!
Ki11erC 18
The difference is that snakes can be left for 12 days especially once on to full size rabbits etc.
Garnetshaddow 30
If OP says "snake breeder" I would assume that indicates the presence of baby snakes. I don't think there are many baby snakes that are eating full size rabbits. At least I hope not, because that would be terrifying...
acerredrum 23
As a snake owner and someone who has helped breeders, snakes can be left alone for 12 days, they are generally fed weekly or every other week depending on the snake and size of the meal. How ever they do need to stay watered. It is very irresponsible of the breeder to not make sure the person they have checking on their house is familiar, let alone even okay being around, snakes.
Queen_of_Night 20
@50 Agreed, my friend has 14 ball pythons and while they don't need to eat everyday they still need to be watered and cleaned up after every other day. Can't imagine the owner not having someone caring for his snakes for 12 days.
xebi 4
What the actual... How on earth did he neglect to tell you that? He hasn't told you how to care for them, or what they're going to eat for 2 weeks. What are you expected to do if they get sick?
badluckalex 23
Snakes can go more than a month without food, although I'm not a snake expert, so this probably doesn't apply to all of them. I only know this because my dad has a corn snake and we fed it a mouse once a month. If a snake gets sick, or even dies, its not OP's fault. The breeder didnt tell them
Enslaved 38
If you re-read the FML, the way it's worded is open to interpretation. It's possible the first day the OP walked in was that same day asked to watch the place? And maybe now regretting to have agreed to it.
PANDORUM89 21
I agree with #23 I have a dwarf boa and a normal ball. The boa didn't eat for the first 3 weeks I had him. The ball has gone a month before out of pure stubbornness. The snakes will be fine left for two weeks. However just check temps and hopefully none are venomous.
VeganVampyre 27
Snakes only eat every 2-3 weeks at most anyway, so that's not a problem. But they would need fresh water every day or two, and you should keep an eye on temperature and humidity in the tanks to make sure everything's good. But those are things the neighbour should definitely have explained before asking OP to watch the place!!
xebi 4
Good points guys, but surely they'll need water and what if they get sick? Leaving them with someone who knows what they're doing is cool, but not discussing beforehand is not cool.
itwontvalidate 18
sssssssssucks
UC_jrmnts 15
"Friendly" neighbor... Sounds like he hates you... When he comes back thank him for the heads up and the great experience!