Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I found that there is nothing worse than coming home to a snake slithering across your kitchen floor. Except when it disappears into your cabinets. FML
Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML
Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
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Top comments
Lobby_Bee 18
Snake - Today, I was chilling by the pool and all of a sudden, some perverted human being grabbed my ass. FML
egnur_mas 19
Rookie error, don't grab anything from the toilet in a dark room!
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Comments (22)
Lobby_Bee 18
Snake - Today, I was chilling by the pool and all of a sudden, some perverted human being grabbed my ass. FML
egnur_mas 19
Rookie error, don't grab anything from the toilet in a dark room!
ariege09 1
Your own glasses must be missing too!
Glowworm56 27
You have a literal plumber's snake.
RichardPencil 32
Train the snake to hold two lenses while wrapped around your son’s head. He’ll have the coolest glasses in school! Make sure the snake isn’t a constrictor.
Glowworm56 27
If the snake is a constrictor, it will keep your son's glasses on nice and tight and he won't lose them!
RichardPencil 32
That’ll work until it doesn’t.
Mooglefox 24
First you must ask yourself: where did this snake come from?
Savannah Nicole Lee 4
It's Florida, it probably pays rent there.
Surewhatever 36
Yes, yes. That is the scariest part of this FML.
Talented73 54
I have a snake.... in my pants.... huh-huh.... huh-huh-huh....
Spencer William Ferguson 4
full of shit xD
corky1992 33
why would you think something under the toilet seat was your glasses? you said the room wasnt well lit, but of ALL places you thought your glasses were there? lol. yikes about the snake.
Glowworm56 27
It was her son's glasses that were missing. Kids do lose things in the darnedest places.
olga_crvjl 19
Omg nooooooo eww I hate snakes ?
smc3106 25
Why are you asking us if you hate snakes?