Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML
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Top comments
bromeister 6
When life gives you lemons, cut them carefully.
bellles 18
Those damn bloody lemons
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Comments (72)
bromeister 6
When life gives you lemons, cut them carefully.
Venasaur1 9
I can barely handle paper cuts with lemon. That must have been agonizing OP.
Cherryta 17
The picture makes this comment even funnier lol.
schhichick 14
when life gives you lemonade make lemons life will be all like whaaattt?-Phil Dumfy
Harpy20 24
Sounds like OP's a bit spastic.
Harpy20 24
My comment that was moderated, "Sounds like OP's a bit spastic," was a joke on OP's name. 5p4571k=Spastic.
AllThatXO 8
Should of washed your hands
JKPwnage 27
#2 Should have* gone back to fifth grade
juststephhere 23
If there's lemon in the meal it doesn't really matter if you wash it off or not, especially when you have kids waiting for their food...
gjikvtj 18
It's obviously should of hence the contraction should'f...
kieralumina 30
@28 It's "should've" for "should have"
J3R3MYY 14
#51 I'm sure #28 is well aware of that, obviously sarcasm exists and you did not pick up on that.
Gourmet666 1
Everybody can make mistakes..At least she was cooking something for the family instead of heating some cheap frozen "food" in the microwave like most of the "modern" moms do.
SlashingAverV2 20
#52, To be fair, it is just a little more difficult to pick up on sarcasm when reading, because they can't listen for the distinct tone of voice when someone is being sarcastic.
Mii99 16
Blame life for giving you that lemon
IloveToLaugh143 21
When life gives you lemons, make some bloody lemonade mate.
bellles 18
Those damn bloody lemons
gjikvtj 18
British or clever?
HylianTwilight 21
#26 How about both? :P
bluucat 17
Still, i bet it was a hella of a dinner! Good job on the effort OP.
rocker_chick23 27
I hope you didn't slice it too bad and I hope you have a speedy recovery.
Uglyfeet 23
I had the same experience yesterday, and found a bright side: seems that the lemon juice helped the wound heal more quickly, though I don't understand why.
kinky44 28
Feel the burn!
lord_meloetta 20
I'm so sorry sorry for you. I hope your finger feels better.
chutney_02 22
I feel for OP, I chopped the top of my thumb off while attempting to cut carrots two weeks ago and it still hasn't fully healed
lord_meloetta 20
That sucks. The only thing like that that happened to me was I sliced off the tip of my finger years ago
VonBlitzkrieg 27
Looks like your coming r is cutting-edge.
callmepandah 12
Aw hope you feel better soon, that sounds painful :/ hope the dinner was good tho! (: