Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for refusing to have anything to do with "our" pet snake. The same snake I told him not to buy for his son a few months ago, because I knew the kid would get bored with it and dump the responsibility onto us. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, my cat decided to show me just how much he loves me by bringing a live snake into my bedroom. Thanks. FML
Today, I went into my room and found a plastic snake on the floor. I yelled out to my sister, "Good one, Ellen!" I picked up the snake to take it to show her. The snake started moving in my hands and bit me. I had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, my 6 ft snake got loose. I found it. It was in my neighbor's backyard, constricting their pet rabbit. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, I finally gave in and agreed to try holding my girlfriend's pet tarantula. The moment I did, it bit me. According to her she’s had him 4 years and he’s never so much as nipped her, never mind a full bite. Lucky me. My hand is twice the normal size and I can feel my heartbeat in it. FML
Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML
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Top comments
xthetisx 0
He must be cute, because he's deffinitly not smart
roseydot 0
Guess facing your fears was a load of crap in this case. FYL
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Comments (183)
SpicyGrass 0
Kill the snake and make a coat out of it.
Jakub89 0
That makes no sense, make a belt out of it sounds better.
CRrawsum 7
Or boots!
valri3 0
"Snakes in a house" New movie.
Suekoff16 3
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!! I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS MOTHER ******* SNAKE IN MY MOTHER ******* HOUSE!!!!
BellyDancinCheer 0
justt kill itt
rciccone 0
I love snakes <3
ugliness 6
kill it with fire! jk call your local animal shelter, they will have a 'unusual' animal section or know a shelter that can retrieve and home the snake
skyeyez9 25
Maybe a coat for a barbie doll.
rawyak 4
use as a whip/rope like pecos bill
franniedottp 8
83- *deep, grumbly, epic/scary voice* lets... KILL IT... with... FIRE!!!!
kofinater 3
I've had it with these monkey fighting snakes in this Monday to Friday house
Katie_the_Great 6
79 how can you like snakes? they are so nasty!
prenticehill 4
They ARE pretty amazing.
Katie_the_Great 6
no no, they are not.
seanders 10
Snakes rule send it my way
urdirtyolduncle 15
well, if u had grabbed that long thing, you guys wouldn't be in this mess. instead, you'd find comfort in handling his slippery Pete.
tomtom88_fml 0
win
poxgff 1
win.
vgameson 0
93's photo looks like a drawing of 106
DonnieBoy14 0
yeah a belt
lifeguardd 0
ur hottttt lool
reptileguy1296 0
Typically the people that say they are disgusting haven't held a snake before and know almost nothing about them. Please realize they want nothing to do with you and prefer to be left alone. They are not out to get you.
GoatInABag 14
You are retard #112
xthetisx 0
He must be cute, because he's deffinitly not smart
born_hustla 26
got a point there..lol
jrsgreenfire257 0
Lmao definnitteeelllyy hha
Poepiepiesie 3
Yeeaaahhh wen ur not smart.ur always cutteweee <3 <3<3
persianjr 15
Can't we be both?
SirEBC 7
Yeah, just look at me.
anakaren_831 1
82 needs a mirror.
SirEBC 7
ZING.
m00sh 0
pahahahahaha
Kilroy15 0
LOUD NOISES
pinpat 2
hahahahaha at the sometime????
SiraSiemens 21
if a man ever said "i only date women who are either cute or smart" there'd be hell to pay xD
cupcake10101 0
call an exterminater
dudeitsdanny 10
That's ridiculous.. Call Harry Potter, he'll talk it out of your house.
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
haha nice #53
Katie_the_Great 6
98 haha that piggy is so cute!
ChibiGirl5 0
hahaha yeaaa
tarahl1 0
sorry but that made me lol
florecitabetch 0
same over here
loski87 4
me too
popcynical 4
indeed
cherryblossom94 0
ehm the french FML are definitely better writed and funnier...
ASHLEYbcddd 0
lol sorry 3 thats not going to you
ASHLEYbcddd 0
well read the French fml If you wanna sit here and bitch. Duh.
roseydot 0
Guess facing your fears was a load of crap in this case. FYL
Alex94xela 0
stfu pain or I'll susano'o ur ass and lol at op
JojoChuo 8
Just make sure yo close your leg whilst you sleep OP D:
shibainu519 0
*slither*
toddlesscott 0
like
klonopin_ftw 0
*hissing noise* "I'm a snaaaaaaaayke. I'm a snaaaaaayke."
KILLME321 0
Oh my God I love snakes but I dont think I would want one crawling around my house n I had no idea where it is.... F ur life n ur bfs! If u catch it dont kill it........
ugliness 6
agreed, I hate when people even consider killing due to fear
creatingApast 11
Horrible Monday! I would be freaking out as well. Good luck capturing it! Maybe Animal Control will help.
lexeous 4
Snakes are nothing to be afraid of.. unless they're huge and/or venemous/constrictors.