Username
United States
Creepy
Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
Justin
Awwww, how sweet!
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
sting
Valencia, United States
Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML
MyNameIsNotJeff
United States
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Anonymous
I'm outta here
Today, my boyfriend's recently mated tarantula disappeared from her enclosure with her egg sac, so she's now somewhere in the house with between 20 and 100 babies hatching within a week. I moved out this afternoon. My boyfriend caused this, he can damn well find her before I set foot in there again. FML
Boyufd
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
NotSpiderman
Edinburg, United States
Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML
QWERTY
Today, my roommate thought it would be a good idea to show me his huge new tarantula despite knowing that I have extremely severe arachnophobia. I ended up killing it with a book and apparently now owe him $500. FML
cricketsins
United States
Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML
mac
Bankstown, Australia
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Top comments
Calen5556 0
In Texas we have those all the time. Had one in my bathroom this morning.
Ferretface 13
40- I'm closer to the appetizer portion of Texas myself.
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Comments (123)
Calen5556 0
In Texas we have those all the time. Had one in my bathroom this morning.
sieera00 8
Ya we do I've found like 15 already...
cradle6 13
I've lived in Texas for 15 years and I've never seen a live one.
Calen5556 0
I live in the country in south texas. I've seen at least 50.
doctor_awesome 8
I live in Texas and got stung by one last year. We have them. -_- And they're bitches.
Beeftinkle 13
Yea same in AZ, I kill a couple every week, just like polar bears...
datgamerchick 14
I remember going to the bathroom when I was little and seeing one in the bathtub at least once a month.
johnnyolivares 0
You must live in the dessert part of Texas.
Ferretface 13
40- I'm closer to the appetizer portion of Texas myself.
zachherbert 10
^ win.
Laners561769 9
Scorpion? Im from wisconsin. That word confuses us. Damn texans. (I KID)
FrostHeart 36
I'm Texan myself, yet, so many texans on this site!!! Everyone stereotypes Texas on FML.
22cute 17
I love pets
cloverpi314 4
there seriously is sooo many.
pimpcakes2 11
Time for the black light test!! Hopefully the scorpion is the first thing you find. -_-
dre_bro11 12
Geez... I know exactly how you guys feel. Here in Australia, the average person finds a kangaroo chilling in the bath tub a few times a month.
dannyboy66 7
Ummm in atlantic canada where im from we got a skunk problem XD and foxes but yea thats about it maybe coyotes no bears where i live but bobcats and lynx
BronyVasNormandy 12
Oh no! Hope it doesn't poke around in your stuff.
Eggers 2
yeah because you never want a scorpion to find out about your **** collection [/sarcasm]
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
"Stuff" could be a euphemism for "genitalia," and in that case their comment makes perfect sense :O
ScaughtieHolden 11
And the poke could be literal.
SpaceMan55 1
I hope u sleep with one eye open
bluntbeak 6
He'd sleep with two, if it weren't for the stinger.
thekillerwhokill 0
You better sleep with one eye open tonight...
Eggers 2
suddenly, death
MagicallyFat 12
Lol AGAIN
victo890 11
Yup !;)
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Time to invite all your enemies for a sleepover, OP.
Bea_FaCurtains 17
Again?? Shouldn't this problem have been prevented from happening after the first time?
WarmPigBelly 4
My mom had a big snail that would escape from the fish tank in her classroom, she would come in, in the morning and find it on the other side of her class everyday. His name was Gary the snail. He was a boss.
BountyBass 13
Catch it and eat it!
gleeklove 2
If I were you, I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight...
cndt 0
Actually they are all poisonous the younger ones are just more dangerous because they don't know how to control how much poison they release
cndt 0
Sorry I'm new to this that comment was meant for that1guyyy
that1guyyy 12
Only the small ones are poisonous
gurpreet 5
Why would you allow your roommate to bring her scropions
THE_A_TEEN 28
people keep scorpions as pet's, sad but true...
deviable 9
Just step on it. I know it sounds mean but it'll teach your roommate to be more careful with their pets.
JackieJax 6
step on a scorpion? are you stupid?
marpay 11
Did they say barefoot? No, so stepping on one in full cover shoes would be a good idea.
deviable 9
Of course I meant with boots on. But usually pet scorpions aren't very poisonous. Someone who lets their pet repeatedly escape obviously shouldn't have it in the first place. Scorpions aren't that hard to keep in a cage.
HomeAl0ne 20
Charge it rent. Especially if it is using your wifi connection.
Lintu_26 23
Those scorpions are pretty damn sneaky, you wouldn't know when or how it gets the wifi access!