Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showed my boyfriend all my kinky sex toys, hoping he'd be excited. He was actually freaked out and said that I have "way too many." Sorry I'm not a boring Christian prude who's afraid of her own pussy, I guess. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he had any secret sexual fantasies and promised that I wouldn't judge him, hoping to scratch my kinky itch. He looked at me wide-eyed, yelled, "IT'S A TRAP!!" and literally sprinted out of the room. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML
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Top comments
TeasinDaNoobs 16
He does know it's not real right...?
adameeo 21
Unrealistic expectations :/
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Comments (55)
TeasinDaNoobs 16
He does know it's not real right...?
crudeandrudeguy 29
OP's name says it all
Dom_Olivares 12
What...it's not? :(
rlak111 19
**** you you're not real
esca6angel 16
have a feeling the answer is no
adameeo 21
Unrealistic expectations :/
onlychildFTW 34
You can't blame **** for that. You have to blame idiots who don't realize it's fake. They are just stupid if they think that's what's real.
Enslaved 38
To each its own. I watch and enjoy ****. It's pure fantasy and many know that already. Also it can be a turn on to be able to turn on your partner. OP's name says a lot. Sounds like money is her turn on. Whatever blows your hair back....
9a_1z 12
I think you can blame **** if people are being exposed to it before they've properly developed their sexual identity. I'm not saying **** is inherently wrong or anything like that, but I don't think it's particularly healthy if your first experience of sexuality is so unrealistic.
Voij 16
41, I believe we need to differentiate **** a bit here. The previous commenters were trying to point out not that **** is a fantasy, which it always is, but rather that there's "good" and "bad" **** out there. Take ~90% of mainstream **** as an example. We all know that it's fantasy, so that part doesn't bother people. The problem with it, instead, is that nothing in it is even remotely realistic. Being on the receiving end of moneyshots is actually fairly disgusting, going through a dozen different positions in 3 minutes isn't realistic and not everyone would wish for nothing more than threesomes. Furthermore, only fairly few women actually like getting railed at mach-speed and not everyone likes grunting and squealing. Mainstream **** basically just tries to present people sexual aspects that are not the norm, because it's more exciting to the target demographic. "Normal" sex tends to bore people, because it's something that's achievable and, after all, "normal". PS: I also don't think OP's name is an implication of gold-diggery, as you seem to suggest, but rather explains that the only reason so many **** stars go through with this stuff is because they need to make ends meet. Think of the classical "I don't get payed enough to deal with this crap" type of situation.
arano 29
This could be applied to video game violence protesting.
FlyinOrion 10
Who controls the age at which you first watch ****? Not the people in ****. Blame bad parenting.
daemonsparta 16
remind him that **** is a performance and that he should never set his standards for sex based on ****.
Swandive235 27
Everyone has their own kinks, so he shouldn't be mad. So try to get him off of ****, it sets unrealistic standards as well.
tonedef456 8
He doesn't need to stop watching ****, he just needs to realize it's not realistic to real sex.
Swandive235 27
Why ****, when you have the real thing?
Catdragon 40
because your lover can not always be there when you're horny. and sometimes they're not up for it. **** isn't necessarily bad. in fact it could be a good thing to watch **** with your lover. then perhaps do stuff yourselves. it could help set the mood of things, but only if your partner is up for that. they may be uncomfy watching **** with you or you watching ****. but if you're both up for it why not?
lulinator 40
#39, some people just like to watch it. My boyfriend watches **** a lot. And he also jerks off a lot. But we also have an extremely active sex life on top of that. Some people like to play video games on their down time, some people read books, and some people like watching ****.
Ethan5640 17
Exactly! Plus, what if one person has a higher sex drive than their partner? They need a place to release without forcing or making their partner feel like they need to have sex just because their partner does. What if you have a high sex drive, your partner forbids **** and/or masturbation? Some might turn and cheat on their partners others might find other ways or even end it with their partner.
UndeadFML 22
Look at it like this, at least he wants a real girl instead of a cartoon.
chosha_fml 27
#5 **** girls aren't real, even if they're played by real women.
a_wiener_d0g 15
They also get paid for those kinks soo
weveallbeenthere 30
everyone is wondering what your kinks are
laden_swallow09 35
Should I upvote your comment, even though its vote count is 69? I can be such a sadist sometimes, so yes!
rainbotato 14
well now you know what hes into i guess
chosha_fml 27
FYL OP and the life of anyone dating someone who thinks **** is how sex works in real life.
pjsr 33
So... pretty much every guy that started puberty in the last couple decades?
townailz 16
This is The problem with ****
Elban 20
Nah, that's the problem with stupid.
Eyeslick 33
Well....and the fact that it's addictive...And ruins families....
lalaney 14
Uh, what? No.
FieldLeftBlank 20
Alcohol, video games and shopping can also be addictive, that does not make them inherently bad.
JustinJK 21
A lot of things are healthy in a moderation, but can become unhealthy when abused/used excessively like 33 said. Shopping almost bankrupted one of my friends family's even though the dad made a healthy 6 figure salary. The mother had 100s of thousands of dollars in credit card debt.