Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML
Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML
Today, I received a text from my mom saying, "We need to talk." I panicked and replied, "What did I do now?" She responded, "I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but now I’m curious about what you're hiding." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
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Top comments
sxe_beast 11
"Paranoid wreck of a girlfriend" Why are you still with her?
Twisted_Angel 17
I'm curious, because I know when I text message my mom, it says "mom" on top of the message. do you have your mom in your phone under her name? because I'll tell ya, as a woman, if I saw my boyfriend get a text like that and it had a woman's name above it, I would be pretty upset too. Especially if I didn't know his mom's name.
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Comments (120)
h0ney_kisses 0
Why are you with her? I'm a girl and your girl sounds crazy
soulsfirefly 8
I label my mom as "Mom" in my phone, thus avoiding any "who is that girl?!" situations. Of course, a paranoid girlfriend/boyfriend will probably find something else to worry about anyway... good luck with that.
mad_hatter0666 22
What do you have your mom's number listed as if not Mom or something of the sort? Ydi.
Lovesglee 3
Umm if shes that paranoid, y the hell r u still with her!?!?!
Googolman 29
I thumbed you down just because you used text language and multiple exclamation marks. Typing like that just makes you look an ignorant, lazy seven year old.
mbrooks5110 0
Run...
Volke 4
Seems like you would be better off without her.
reallytho3 11
Sex must b awful good
caviar_fml 2
why don't you have your mum saved in your phone as mum? lol would avoid future confusion
auddylynne 0
Bahaha trust issues? Just a bit haha
whitey317 0
Doesn't it say 'Mom' at the top of the screen
5t3ff1k4h 47
Obviously not, or else the girlfriend wouldn't be freaking out.