Today, I received a text from my mom saying, "We need to talk." I panicked and replied, "What did I do now?" She responded, "I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but now I’m curious about what you're hiding." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, I was house sitting by myself and I texted my mom saying how thankful I was that she was trusting me and not checking up on me. That night I threw a party at the house. My mom showed up to check on me because my text was "suspicious". FML
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
Today, I texted my mom and had to explain to her that calling me repeatedly at 2 a.m. because you're bored and want to talk is not really a good idea. Seriously, nothing happened, she just wanted to chat because she had nothing else to do. Her response to my message? She started calling me again. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, I got a text from my mom that said, “I’m so proud of you!” I immediately replied, “Thanks, Mom!” Then I realized it was meant for my sister, and my mom had accidentally texted me instead of her. FML
Today, I hit a car while trying to answer a phone call from my mom. I quickly answered the phone and shouted "What!?". To which she replied, "I just had a bad feeling in my gut about you so I wanted to make sure you were ok." FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 35
Who tf starts a dinner conversation like that?
Chazzster 32
Those 4 words are the most dreaded combination in the English language. Rarely is it followed by something you want to hear… But, the only appropriate answer is “OK” or something to that effect. There are many thoughts better left unspoken.
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Comments (4)
core01 30
It's a set up!
MidnaLink 35
Who tf starts a dinner conversation like that?
Chazzster 32
Those 4 words are the most dreaded combination in the English language. Rarely is it followed by something you want to hear… But, the only appropriate answer is “OK” or something to that effect. There are many thoughts better left unspoken.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Tell her you haven't done anything wrong so you figured that she was going to tell you she had a terminal disease or something.