Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML
Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML
Today, I received a text from my mom saying, "We need to talk." I panicked and replied, "What did I do now?" She responded, "I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but now I’m curious about what you're hiding." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sxe_beast 11
"Paranoid wreck of a girlfriend" Why are you still with her?
Twisted_Angel 17
I'm curious, because I know when I text message my mom, it says "mom" on top of the message. do you have your mom in your phone under her name? because I'll tell ya, as a woman, if I saw my boyfriend get a text like that and it had a woman's name above it, I would be pretty upset too. Especially if I didn't know his mom's name.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
kotabones 0
Leave it will never get better. She doesn't trust you now with a text from your mom. That says a lot.
doglover100 29
Wouldn't she had read the name?
TrollingStalker 16
You've got an Overly Attached Girlfriend on your hands there.
nmlutgen 11
Isn't your mom labeled as "Mom" and wouldn't your girlfriend at least know your moms name? I don't believe this for a second.
LissaMccracken 23
Good, let her be a bitch. I hate girls like that
Nederlander95 14
Is your mom in your phone as "mom", or by her first name? If it's her name, it's a misunderstanding. If it's mom, run away
doglover100 29
Didn't your phone say "mom"?
garf3265 12
kinda deserved it for not having her contact name as mom
weezylette22 12
maybe it was for the best
kevinsagirl2323 8
I'm wondering why you are with this whack job?