Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML
Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML
Today, I received a text from my mom saying, "We need to talk." I panicked and replied, "What did I do now?" She responded, "I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but now I’m curious about what you're hiding." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sxe_beast 11
"Paranoid wreck of a girlfriend" Why are you still with her?
Twisted_Angel 17
I'm curious, because I know when I text message my mom, it says "mom" on top of the message. do you have your mom in your phone under her name? because I'll tell ya, as a woman, if I saw my boyfriend get a text like that and it had a woman's name above it, I would be pretty upset too. Especially if I didn't know his mom's name.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
VeeEight 5
Um......good!!!
dionsauris 4
oooo that sucks bro!
structuredchaoz 4
She would only get worse. Move on to the next.
kickblocker 18
What's do you have your mom as in your phone? Everyone i know, including adults have their mom as 'mom' in their phone
dlangel 2
I really don't get why op should need his mom listed by her role vs her name in his phone. I list my mom by her full name because it's part of my address book.
kickblocker 18
part os an address book makes sense. but still, shouldnt the girlfriend know her boyfriend's mom's name?
andymus_maximus 0
Sometimes those with jealousy issues and insecurities that get paranoid about getting cheated on are actually those who are inclined to cheat... Fyl op. Things will only get worse if you don't end things now...
InUrArea 4
Psycho bitch
rezzel 0
put ur moms contact name as " mom "
rtjacobson 0
Lol at everyone wondering why he doesn't have mom saved as mom. I don't either. My contacts all have full names. But yeah, dump that bitch. Might be hard an u might care about her but it'll be better in the long run.
brianjman14 23
I'm just wondering. Why do people put their mom's full name in their contacts? Mine's just "Mom." OP, if she's a "paranoid wreck" then you should have already broken up with her if this kind of behavior is normal.
Bekavera 4
she clearly has issues:( Time to dump her and move on:)