Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my girlfriend that her mom doesn't give us any privacy when we're at their place. I suggested that we go to my place for a change, and she agreed. Her mom called my house three times to see what we were doing. We're well beyond teenagers. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend's mother tagged at a restaurant, the same one I had suggested we try earlier in the week. At the time, she quickly shut me down because "that place sounds terrible". I guess she forgot that she finally added me on Facebook. FML
Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML
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Top comments
nomadxx7 0
Ouch. Personally I'd talk to your GFs mom and make 100% sure that it was her daughter. Then dump your girlfriend. No need having a woman that clearly doesn't understand boundaries in a relationship. Nothing should say, "here's the door don't have it hit you in the ass" from a unfaithful SO.
tingting1 0
hmmm guess you should ask your gf about it?
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Comments (39)
nomadxx7 0
Ouch. Personally I'd talk to your GFs mom and make 100% sure that it was her daughter. Then dump your girlfriend. No need having a woman that clearly doesn't understand boundaries in a relationship. Nothing should say, "here's the door don't have it hit you in the ass" from a unfaithful SO.
DameGreyWulf 1
Yes exactly, before doing anything make sure the stupid idiot isn't just being a stupid idiot (after all, she did mistake some guy for you...). Oh, and you might want to see what exactly she defines as PDA. Then kick the bitch to the curb if what's true is true. "Noo" is right...
GreenHacker 0
YDI for dating a ****
jeffav51 0
he didn't know that she was a **** and you failed with all 3 of your failed FML's.
neonokku 0
2nd!!!! givme megaytive comments cuz your all jealopis!@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
neonokku 0
hey they moderated my comment!!
tingting1 0
no shiiiiiiii
moonlight_daze 8
First time the moderators censored you? Feel proud my man, :-)
skullbashd 3
you say don't let the door hit you on the way out... cuzitsbad don't want ass prints on my door
tingting1 0
hmmm guess you should ask your gf about it?
neonokku 0
omg ting ting stop saying your #1 cuz youre not!!!!!!1
tingting1 0
wtf.. i didn't?
moonlight_daze 8
Your girlfriend's mom is an idiot. lulz
mycleverusername 0
Or she could be an evil genius. If she already hates you, she could be trying to break you guys up by suggesting that she saw her daughter with some other guy in the food court. Or your girlfriend could be a ****. Either way, FYL.
PandaPandaPandaX 0
Let's hope she is just blind and thought it was your girlfriend she saw with 'you'.
plexico 4
If you're going to **** around with your girlfriend's mom, there are two rules: 1) Try to do it in private 2) Be good at it.
gameoverman_fml 0
Poor kid just wanted a vanilla MILFshake.
plexico 4
It's quite intentional and given the poor writing style, it's a possible but less likely description of the events. And if he lies to the girl's mom, why wouldn't he lie to us?
arienh4 0
I think that was his joke... it's his kind of awesome humour.
plexico 4
Y'know, organizedchaos, I really wish you had expanded on my comment, rather than try to convince us that the most likely series of events described by the story was indeed the true one. This thread could have been a lot of fun with references to Stacy's Mom and Stifler's mom, or with pithy aphorisms like, "Maybe teenage girls will put up with premature ejaculation, but it really pisses off hot, cougar MILFs."
lovemyblueeyes 0
Wow...deff. check & make sure it was HER daughter...she's stupid, lol.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Does her mom wear glasses? Were they on? If she can't even recognize you then maybe she can't tell who her own daughter is. Then again maybe she only saw her daughter and the guys face wasn't towards the mom and she only assumed it was you. :/
radiocaf 29
or... his girlfriend is cheating and she didn't look long enough to realise it was another guy?
Ohnothingreally 0
Then what happened? Did you tell her that you didn't go out all day? That sucks, though.
BikerMike 0
get your gf and mom together and ask what is going on? you just might get the gf and mom fighting.