Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted get to know my mom, so they went off and had a chat. After an hour, I noticed my girlfriend was gone and my mom was waiting for me. Apparently I've been dumped through my mother. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML
Today, my girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female contacts or she’d set my stuff on fire. Yes, that includes my mother. FML
Today, I found my mother wandering the halls of my fraternity unescorted and asked why she was here, she told me she was concerned when I didn't pick up my phone for two days. She then informed me that she had also moved to the same city I live in. My mother moved over 600 miles to stalk me. FML
Today, I received a text from my mom saying, "We need to talk." I panicked and replied, "What did I do now?" She responded, "I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but now I’m curious about what you're hiding." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML
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Top comments
sxe_beast 11
"Paranoid wreck of a girlfriend" Why are you still with her?
Twisted_Angel 17
I'm curious, because I know when I text message my mom, it says "mom" on top of the message. do you have your mom in your phone under her name? because I'll tell ya, as a woman, if I saw my boyfriend get a text like that and it had a woman's name above it, I would be pretty upset too. Especially if I didn't know his mom's name.
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Comments (120)
KnucklesDeep 5
The loser is you, for not dumping this freak a long time ago.
False_Stupidity 42
Assuming he knew how paranoid she was before this episode, which he may not have.
Surewhatever 36
I hope you're kidding. Lots of people have jealousy problems and sometimes overreact, usually apologizing later. If she's great otherwise, sure a reaction like this is annoying, but a long talk might help. Also OP probably described her that way because he was annoyed at the time. Doesn't mean she has no redeeming qualities.
Enslaved 38
You don't have your mom's number under "MOM"? Not that your psycho girlfriend shouldn't calm down and hear your side.(:
erikaa916 0
I was wondering the same thing.. why did he not have her listed in his contacts as "mom?" if I saw an unknown number or a girls name on a text asking to come over for dinner I'd probably be a little suspicious too.
xrainbowshadowx 17
Dump her...she's not worth it if she can't trust you.
TheNewGuy03 29
Eh, bad things don't get better with time. I wish you luck -- but negative behavior patterns don't simply disappear. Edit: I'm gonna guess that similar things have happened before, right? |the kid|
xXshadowrollerXx 6
Well, **** her then. She's gonna be gone all day, might as well have a raging party. Leave the house a mess; beer cans and unconscious strippers galore. When she comes home, her paranoia will be so high that'll it just dissapear. Or she'll have a heart attack. Whatever.
Korsakov 0
"OR she'll have a heart attack. Whatever." ^LMAO^
darkmis1 18
Do you have your mom saved by her first name in your phone? She should know who it is if the contact says "mom".
WCARlover 35
you're better without her
newmandotcom 6
YDI for not having her saved as, uhhh, idk, "mom"
StaigeJ 0
Nit everyone does, people need to trust others better it's her fault for not asking first
Jazzalyn 10
Let me guess. She doesn't let you go to strip clubs either...
xLoveLastsx 0
Time for a breakup for u 2 lol