Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was running late for work and quickly grabbed my outfit from the dryer. I heard the crackling of static as I took out my shirt. I didn't think anything of it, until later when my co-worker pointed out I had a thong stuck to my back. FML
Today, I got extremely winded from adjusting my blanket. What a workout. FML
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
Today, the power went out so my family all stayed together in a one room to keep warm. I was on the bed against the wall and reached my hand down, only to find my panties tucked in the side of my brother's bed. Not one pair, but two. FML
Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML
Today, I pulled my clothes out of the dryer and realized I had washed an entire pack of tissues with them. Every single piece of clothing was covered in what looked like tiny snowflakes. I now look like I’ve been rolling around in dandruff. FML
Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. Twenty minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, the lack of heating in my room has gotten to the point where I have to cuddle my clothes for the next day at night so they're not freezing when I wake up. FML
Today, my not-quite-potty-trained toddler niece had a 'wee accident' in my bed. I used towels to mop it up and changed the sheets. Later, I had the bright idea to dry it faster by turning the electric blanket on high. Now my room smells like burned urine. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Obviously the universe thought your sex life was dead, so it was trying a little CPR/defibrillation. "Shit, we lost him! Charge to 300! CLEAR!!" *ZAP*
fernclogger 5
Did it turn you on?
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Comments (131)
Llamacod 11
That sounds electrifyingly fun.
Llamacod 11
Wow, I was 1st
choshaki 8
Ouch! Hopefully it didn't do too much damage
Pentium_4 27
only casualties would be a few innocent sperm, assuming OP is a guy
ThisIsMyReign 4
Is it blanket on the dick? OPERATION!
NiiTeH 7
OMG! I hope his pants are okay.
blackheart24 10
47- haha your temple run pic is awesome, btw my high score is unbeatable. Sucks for OP. His children are all gonna have twitching issues lol.
FUGYU 2
Free vibrator! :))
tdawg4200 0
Hey #2, just how much damage do you think a static shock from a blanket can give?
choshaki 8
Hey number 70, it was sarcasm.
taco_bender 12
Hmmm shocking.
drewfus2 6
Dryer sheets, bitch!
qwertsarecool122 23
I thought that warm blankets were suppose to make you feel warm in side. Shocking.
shanemaximo 7
You know if your crotch was traveling at precisely 84 miles per hour at the exact time of the shock it would go BACK TO THE FUTURE!!!
draegbomb 5
Hopefully it didn't kill his last brain cell
AmongstTheFaces 5
What the **** does his brain have to do with his crotch?!?! It's his manhood that is the issue. (assuming it is a guy)
magic103 2
It's acually 88 m/h not 84 oh and you need a fluks capasiter every one knows that duh
flipfloperson 5
I'm not sure if they used a fluks capasiter, but they did use a flux capacitor.
bmboente15 0
Maybe some people find your crotch quite shocking. Ba-dum-bum
lrgenesis 19
Electric personality OP!
krazykat794 0
What does OP mean?
aleclikestacos 8
Ovulating penis^
bizarre_ftw 22
Omnipresent Pentagram
btnhdude 0
Oblivious Person.
Swiftly 0
Orgasmic Potato
StoryOfTheYear 15
Otter Pudding, don't believe these liars
CryMoreFMLs 15
It means Othoscopic Platypus obviously.
sr101998 0
It means original person
StromyG2 10
Obliterated Pussy (you know, because of the electrocution)
lrgenesis 19
I love FML so much... It actually stands for Ornery Plainstrider, like the ones in WoW
jonmansheppard 9
Orgy Party
fernclogger 5
Did it turn you on?
brianjman14 23
I thought you were me for a second.
Llamacod 11
No, he has different goofy ass hair
That0therguy 4
Suddenly, Frank found a new way of masturbation.
dudeman1212 22
42- What's so goofy about his ass hair? :D
DocBastard 40
Obviously the universe thought your sex life was dead, so it was trying a little CPR/defibrillation. "Shit, we lost him! Charge to 300! CLEAR!!" *ZAP*
The_Hitdude 12
Did you get anything? No, he's still limp! Wait... *OP tries to flirt with girl....* We've got a pulse! *OP gets slapped* Oh nevermind...time of death; 3:05.
Pentium_4 27
Doc knows what he's talking about, not only is he a trauma surgeon, he always plays one on TV
im_too_pro 2
Best comment I've seen in a while. Thanks Doc
HannahMarshall 6
I bet it gave you an electric feel.
efynsien 1
All Alone on the western front. People line up to receive.but she got the power in her hand. To shock you like you won't beleive.
Meraklez1013 9
Loving it 25!!! I like how that song sounds on gummy headphones too!!
AmongstTheFaces 5
I bet he/she became magnetic man after that.
Swiftly 0
Shocking.
idontknowyou123 0
How shocking... Now to wait for thumbs down...
zingline89 18
Damn you just got **** shocked
incognito1520 20
Well played.
Jessic1 5
Nice that was actually really good
Da_Bauss435 8
Are you sure he wasn't shock blocked?
zingline89 18
Yes.
dudeman1212 22
94- Ummm no. Was he going to have sex with the dryer???
KVKdragon 26
Looks like fate was trying to jumpstart your love life ;)