Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom. The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall. The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there. I stayed quiet. He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom. FML
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
Today, I was at a friend’s party when I needed to use the restroom. I walked into a closet and couldn’t find my way out in the dark. I ended up knocking over several items before someone heard the commotion and rescued me. I think someone recorded the whole thing so I'm afraid it gets posted it onto social media. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, my mom's intense fear of tornadoes caused her to break into the bathroom, drag me off the toilet while I was changing my tampon, and drag me to the basement with my pants around my ankles to join my father, brother, and my brother's best friend. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, I came home from school and ran to the nearest bathroom to go #2. In my hurry, I forgot to shut the door so I asked my older brother who was walking by to close it for me. After a while he didn't respond, so I looked up to see not my brother, but his best friend watching me take a crap. FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom, but the door was closed. I waited until I was pretty much about to explode, and eventually yelled, "Are you okay?" and my roommate replied, "What are you talking about? Oh, sorry. I left the light on." How do you close the door and forget to turn off the light? FML
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
IreadFMLnaked 0
This is pretty good blackmail material. Better be nice to your bro.
lolzRaptor 1
If it was a very serious shit, you would have not taken your mind off of such a serious excrement, therefore there would be no crying and no FML, so it obviously wasn't a serious shit, just a normal one.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (257)
IreadFMLnaked 0
This is pretty good blackmail material. Better be nice to your bro.
tarula 1
YDI for taking a shit
Kyran17 0
damn straight son
hibarisanstr 0
I got one word, and that word is, PUSSY!
marz88 0
I notice that when someone picks a theme for the week (eg. Scared of the dark) it just seems to show up on every other FML.
Zero2Sixty 0
the kid needs to threaten to put it on youtube
porp1 4
dyi, i mean, not to be a troll, but this situation probably never happened when you were midst the shit, unless you were flicking the lights back and fourth. Most lightbulbs completely burn after you turn them on, or after you flick them off. if it is on and has to burn, it would just get darker and darker over time, after about like 10 minutes it would burn. chances are, you would see the drastic change i the lighting, so, yeah
wbrycem 0
I lol'ed at you taking a serious shit. The rest of it's just pathetic.
nomplech 0
Umm... #78, it could have been storming :P
jadore_me 0
lol so truee!
DllnBro 0
yeah hes full of shit. bitch aint no captain of the varsity football team. why do ppl make up shit. theyre only funny if theyre believable
LTMcleod 0
**** you for posting an old fml.
RachelTheLoser 0
that's kinda hot [; hahaha
llZombiell 5
Your a dumbass
KumoFF7 3
FIRST . YDI, couldn't you just open the door? do you have a lock on the outside?
Crickets 0
lol fail ur second :P and this is pretty pathetic, mr football captain. haha
KumoFF7 3
and was your brother in the bathroom with you?
Sharrakor 0
I presume his little brother was standing outside, recording.
GmanG 0
YDI... Being scared of the dark, when you're seventeen?? In your own house?!?! NOT EVEN AT NIGHT?! (I suggest the last thing, because his little brother wasn't sleeping) If I'd be your brother - I would never... O **** this! I would do the same thing! P.S. LOL at #23
Kiwi_Splash 0
You people are seriously ignorant and rude. He's lygophobic (fear of BEING in a dark place), doesn't mean he's afraid of night-time. A phobia is an extreme anxiety disorder towards simple or harmless things that cannot be controlled. This is actually very dangerous, and could be fatal if it got out of control. You guys are all assholes. "Ooh, he's afraid of the dark, he's a pussy", wtf? Stop being kids and grow up. So what if he's 17? A disorder is a disorder no matter how old or macho you are. I really sympathize with the OP for being put in a socially threatening position because of having to deal with idiots like most of the people here making a mockery out of him. I'm very sorry OP, I hope you seek help to ease the fear. Though it's a hard process, you can make it if you want to. Take care, and good luck. Please ignore what other people say, I'm sure many guys here are afraid of rats or insects or anything harmless. This is natural and normal, it's abnormal all the judgements you have to deal with, remember that.
m1h1m 0
thank you! some one with a brain and heart...look i am scared of dark period. night or lights out. i watched way to many horror movies and i regret its...but for all of you calling him a pussy...i hope God smites you and gives you an anxiety worse than any other...you will be so scared i hope you shit in you pants..in public
LoosechangeXxXx 0
You are retarded this is totally fake got he is such a you ae such a fag.
Endless 0
shut up!
vyktor_fml 0
I agree with 174. I'm pretty sure this guy isn't a "pussy", because he plays football. If you're not scared of getting hit full force by men your size and bigger, you must not be scared easily. OP probably has a disorder and can't help that he doesn't like dark places. Also, like 174 said, every person making fun of OP probably has something they're terrified of as well. Maybe OP had a traumatic experience as a child that led to a fear of darkness... you never know. So get off OP's back about it.
MrCatman1125 2
Why doesn't he take the device used to record it with, and delete it whenever his brother falls asleep.
DirtyDiana_fml 0
SHENANIGANS!
LTMcleod 0
I used to be scared of the dark, when I was 3... good fight, just because your scared, dosent mean you cry either.
SuPeR_bAsS 0
Tough guy right there OP.
yaknowiverse 0
I saw this comment and thought of the album by Green Day
NightlightPL0X 0
YDI for starting the KKK
Jimboom 12
Lol. Pussy. Better that it comes out this way than you wailing and crying when making out with some chick in the dark. The public humiliation from that would be far worse.
divineinstrument 2
Yeah I was gonna say it's kinda harsh everyone calling him a pussy, but this is really pathetic. I'm a bit afraid of the dark too, but you don't see me wailing and crying just because I'm in a dark room. OP, if you're THAT afraid of the dark, you need some kind of therapy or something. If your little brother shows everyone, just tell
Whininghippo 0
Things called phobias.. look 'em up.. irrational fears of harmless things happen. :o No reason to call 'em a pussy.
tuckriggs 0
ahhhhh butch
tuckriggs 0
ahhhhh butch
lolzRaptor 1
If it was a very serious shit, you would have not taken your mind off of such a serious excrement, therefore there would be no crying and no FML, so it obviously wasn't a serious shit, just a normal one.
Sharrakor 0
Wait, what?
FrayedxD 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
wow dude, you must has some mental health issues, a serious phobia of some sort, go get the check out. STILL hellah funny though BHAHAH -FrayedxD
mif_fml 27
Why add a signature with your name? -mif
Arcterion 0
You, sir, are a ******* PUSSY. YDI.
Sharrakor 0
You, sir, must not know what a PHOBIA really is. STFU.
IAmAJellyDonut 0
Ditto those who mentioned a serious phobia. And really, no need to be sexist.
girandwogpig 0
awww someone cut from their team #8?
tac0609 13
I would like to introduce you to nyctophobia. The fear of the dark or of night. There's also other different varieties of phobias of the dark.
harveywallbanger 0
You are ******* pathetic.
aranoth 0
Are you serious? couldn't you just open the door yourself? YDI as hell