Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test, saying, "Well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
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Top comments
apache316 6
"Man I am so drunk off my ass right now"
calilovesneb 12
It could be worse. My friends mom opened up the trash once to look for her used tampons because she thought she was faking being on her period and hiding being pregnant. All because of some Dr. Phil episode too.
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Comments (280)
Coccinelle_fml 15
I read that story as well. It also said that people drink the alcohol from hand sanitizers. She can't keep you safe.
Shrike 24
The whole alcohol-tampon thing is a documented urban legend, there's no proof it's ever been done by teenagers, let alone by a whole lot of them, not least because the alcohol would burn like hell. Even if you did manage to insert a soaked tampon, the amount of alcohol would be really low. Your mom's a moron.
dannnngthatsux 19
And you need to check your sources, plus check the tampons, some have plastic applicators, pretty stiff! Like the brain, our bowels don't expect anything damaging from inside, very few pain receptors compared to mouth etc.
jenniiienyc 5
I guess there actually are moms crazier out there than mine.
Slender_Man 6
What the actual ****?
reganhenderson 2
awk
SoultheWolf 19
Sadly this wouldn't surprise me, but any idiot who does this is really stupid. One, putting alcohol in your ass gives you no natural filter, causing you to get drunk faster AND to have a higher chance of getting alcohol poisioning which leads to death if untreated.
KevLar33 4
Sounds like a case for the Mythbusters.
failmaster069 7
but people do do that lol
SpearD 4
Im pretty sure you can't get drunk that way
dannnngthatsux 19
Sorry pretty sure. Nurse friends have told me the know personally of cases and in one case death. Any kind of membrane in the body will pass fluids.
science_nerd 5
Sadly this is true and they don't feel the effects of the alcohol poisoning either, so they can be overdosing and not know about it