Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Sharing is caring
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Old prude
Today, my dumbass self left my DIY dildo on the sink and my mom found it and threw it away. She called me a whore, who'll be "fucking around with a new partner each night." FML
Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
Great chat!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, I found out that my parents like rough sex. I found the whip and handcuffs. FML
Oh no.
Today, while cleaning out my daughter's closet, I found my missing dildo. It's a mold of my husband's penis. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Top comments
austincain117 16
I guess having a ***** is a dildont ha get it? no... okay...
emissy 14
I, personally, would not touch someone else's *****
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (213)
Salfo 7
at least you didnt catch her using it
joelgoode 6
Maybe she was just trying to get a mess with you
wvcheesehead 13
Officers we have a person being assaulted. Assailant is armed with a large rubber ****. Please be advised it is ribbed for her pleasure, approach with caution.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Super embarrassing i hope she didn't scar you for life
nevm 12
.
nellomellinello 11
Lololol
jgomez58 12
You did not specify OP--are you a male or a female?
demonfacee 14
The sex toys you own are none of your mom's business and she's not supposed to mention that you have them or use them to beat you. She shouldn't be be beating. I feel bad for you.
lahlahland89 3
It's his/her mom's house. It IS her business. If OP still gets "beaten" by his/her mom chances are he/she shouldn't be owning such items. I am 100% on the mom's side. I should know, I'm a parent.
lahlahland89 3
No, a teenager cannot have urges and desires. That's why statutory rape laws are made for. Minors engaging in sexual activities is illegal and punishable by law. For crying out loud, if you're a teenager the last thing on your mind should be sex. That's why so many teenage pregnancies and people getting STD's young happens. They wanna act all mature and grown when they don't know squat about life yet. Shit, when I was a teenager I focused more on passing entrance exams to get into college, not pleasuring myself with silly toys.
Squygm 7
160, just because you don't feel like believing teenagers have sexual desires, and you claim not to have had any, doesn't change the fact that they do. It has nothing to do with being an adult, but is a normal part of human anatomy. On another note, ************ is not illegal for minors, and no 13 year olds are going to jail for it any time soon.
limabeans101029 21
"Teenagers cannot have urges and desires"... urm, what? Of course they can. It's biology. As a 19 year old, I can tell you that teenagers definitely do have sexual desires and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. I've been having regular sex since I was 17 and I seem to be turning out perfectly fine. Plus not every single person who has sex and uses "silly toys" in their teens gets pregnant and STDs. Also not all "teenagers" are underaged. In lots of places, 16 is the legal age for having sex. Also, something that loads of people seem to not understand: Having sex/masturbating and doing well in school are NOT mutually exclusive!
Yarrachel 16
When you say that doing well in school was so hard for you that even taking a ten minute break to go ********** would hurt your chances of doing well, it makes you sound kind of dumb. Most people can manage both. Perhaps you were just a poor student?
jerome72 14
uh.. ew?
bunny409 14
I don't see the problem. At least you're not having sex and risk getting pregnant.