Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart-to-heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML
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Top comments
Silent_Harmony 3
YDI, You really should put those away when you're done.
ohheykiwi 2
You're lucky. My mom would beat me with it.
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Comments (78)
kittykatt 0
Haha how awkward... FYL
beardo8 0
YDI FOR HAVING A MOM
eggnogg 0
i moderated this one, and i clicked no
ifmlftw 0
your one of the people that ruin this for others
Dmars444 4
I agree alot of people would have great fmls but people are douches
Silent_Harmony 3
YDI, You really should put those away when you're done.
Lordlucian 0
Did your mom then ask to use it?
clairesucks 37
Why would you think of that? That's just gross
Aerostella 0
Way to go, genius. YDI
Imawhalerider 0
yeah dont give it to the dog
Spyingcheeseman 8
Give the dog a bone ;D
boysxrulex09 0
girls suck. why would you use a *****?
nomadxx7 0
Why wouldn't they? Us guys jerk it every now and again even if we have girlfriends/wives.
LockonStratos_fml 3
What else would you suggest they use? It's a whole lot safer then having sex with a boy or using food, toothbrushes, etc. I am neutral on this. It isn't a FYL or YDI. Awkward yes, but at least you have a mom that understands a woman's needs.
bexox 0
Isn't there a bridge you should be guarding?
sublime93 0
#14 you are awesome
lizzy3367 0
why would you leave it out??
Sketch_y 0
Rubber*
volleyballgirl16 0
you have a funny mom but thats awkward
moleSG 6
At least your mom didn't mind. YDI for leaving it in plain view though.
britt_babe 0
good job
bloodthorn 4
YDI for not being able to get real dick
Vanita 1
If someone like you is attached to it, that's really not better at all.