Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
BLACKMAIL your dad into buying you whatever you want :D
Orchid_fml 2
hahah , that was a lose situation no matter what . =/
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Comments (267)
abylaunch 10
being gay is an adolecant phase!? I'm sorry but a guy can't have gay sex when he's 15 then claim to be straight when he's 50!
mike1921 0
Then you're saying if you have gay sex you're permanently gay? Instead of just being confused? I don't think all gay people are confused, but there isn't a doubt in my mind that some who say so are.
SmileandWave 0
The guy could be bi. So then you are saying that basically a guy can't have sex with a girl at 15 then claim to be gay at 50 as well? That's bull because people are confused and change their minds all the time and how many people leave their partners because of this confusion and they feel their sexual preferences have changed? Seriously, abylaunch put some thought into what you're saying ok?
StealthStorm67 0
My ass. If you're a dude, and you like getting cornholed, you're gay. Just cause you like to hangout with girls doesn't mean you're bisexual.
mike1921 0
WTF? Just because you hang out with girls? Even if you have sex with them you're gay if you're attracted to men , straight if to women, bi if to both.
SmileandWave 0
Just because you have sex with guys doesn't make you gay either. It could mean you are bisexual or bicurious. And what has hanging out with girls got to do with anything? I would imagine that most people have friends of both sexes so that makes no sense. This must have been said about 10 times already, do you want someone to spell it out for you?
Princesschronic 0
No I think mike is say slot of younger kid expresmemt with the same gender. I start expresmenting like for example, we me and my best friend when I was twelve would look at watch other naked to see if it was all the same. Then when I got lil older we made out and did harmless stuff like that but now Im dating a gay I'm 18 and I usually don't think about girls unless it's on a good day! And just to say to everyone who is dogging on eatch other for not being "normal" Does anyone no what normal is? Everyone has there own "normal" statues
mike1921 0
I can't even tell what you're trying to say :| I think you might've implied I've experimented with guys (I haven't) but can't really tell....
SmileandWave 0
It looks like that's what's being implied, but really, noone cares any more and if they do they need to get a life.
invader0tal 0
There is nothing wrong with Yaoi! :D Gay fanfiction is hot no matter what gender you are. ^////^
abylaunch 10
I'm not saying you're perminantly gay but at the least you are perminantly bi
SmileandWave 0
According to a friend of mine who is full of weird, wonderful and useless facts, only around 20% of the world's population are porperly straight. The rest are gay, bi, confused or antisexual. It makes sense if you think about it, and noone is really permanently anything so you can't say that unless it's based on something other than your opinions.
StealthStorm67 0
Wtf? Who do you get your facts from? Thats the most ludicrous statistic I've ever heard! The majority of the population is straight. If the majority was gay, then being straight would be gay. People would be nervous to tell their parents that they're straight..
SmileandWave 0
The majority aren't gay. The majority I think are a bit confused but won't do anything about it, so you wouldn't neccessarily know. But I didn't say it was right I was just repeating what I've been told.
Than_fml 0
So, your Mom's a homophobe and your Dad's gay....Thanksgiving is gonna be extra special this year.
abylaunch 10
how do you know her mom's a homophobe? maybe she just doesn't want her daughter watching ****.
mike1921 0
Still retarded.
ashleeee 0
your family has some issues to work out ! fyl and fyml and fyfl !
R0flCopter 0
Lol that sucks so much
overtly_subtle 0
And you calling yourself "pimpin18" or whatever isn't a reference to the glorification of being a pimp of prostitutes, which of course isn't a "business" (if the word can even be used) of despair, desperation, manipulation, and crushing lives and is in fact the epitome of generosity and benevolence. Stop trolling, you lack-witted hate-eater.
overtly_subtle 0
... I read gay fanfiction all the time, graphic and not (the kind with two men, since there seems to be a bit of confusion over that here). How is it "bad" to read that? I mean, I really am a bit curious that the mum was so upset thinking her daughter reads it. Is it because of the graphic nature? Because it involves homosexual relationships? It's just, I'd think a parent kind of expects that by the time their kid hits mid-late teens he/she is looking at pornographic material. It's just natural.
Jessaly_fml 0
There is NOTHING wrong with yaoi. In fact, I prefer it. :)