Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I lied at a store when the checkout person told me the cologne I was buying was for men. I told him it was for my boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years, I just wanted it to smell like one. FML
Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
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Top comments
spursunited 19
Smell random strangers on the bus/subway and when they ask what you're doing stare them straight in the eyes and take the biggest breath possible without breaking eye contact and slowly back away while whispering, "you smell different when you're awake..."
SauceySarah 30
I don't blame you. Guy's cologne smells absolutely incredible if it's the good kind.
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Comments (58)
BananaCoconutty 26
Date me ol
BananaCoconutty 26
Date me ol
Severefear 7
Excuse me miss, does this rag smell like cologne or chloroform to you?
SOILEDIT 51
Hmm, some cologne can smell like a unicorn's fur, but others smell like a skunk.
AutumnLily88 13
Tbh I probably would do the same thing at this point ?
laden_swallow09 35
Oh, come on! All you need to do is smile at a guy. Really, it's not hard.
wondermoose 28
biggest turn on is when a guy smells nice
frostjack 5
I'm sorry to hear that, I was in the same place as you 2 year dry spell where every woman laughed in my face if I asked them out, literally in a couple of circumstances. Then I met my girlfriend, and she's totally worth the wait. Just be strong and keep looking, don't go for the wrong one thinking he MIGHT be good enough. Be strong.
SouL_WraitH 12
when everyrThng fails lower ur standard OP! XD
hank0311 10
Hey..... Pick your head up and say hi to someone. Have you ever noticed the guy looking at you in the coffee line smiling. No? Then your not looking!