Today, I lied at a store when the checkout person told me the cologne I was buying was for men. I told him it was for my boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years, I just wanted it to smell like one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML
Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store. Before I knew what was happening, he'd sniffed me and started whimpering about how I don't smell like I used to. He does this kind of crazy shit all the time. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she bought the same perfume that my boyfriend got me for Christmas last year. He loves that perfume. Now, whenever he smells me, he's going to think of his mom. FML
Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to the store to buy new blankets and a comforter. A cute guy started chatting with me and asked about the new bedroom decor. I lied and said I just had a major break up and needed new things, instead of admitting I was too lazy to dig out and wash my winter blankets from last year. FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
Today, I bought some perfume that I thought smelled absolutely amazing. Later, my boyfriend walked in, sniffed, and said, "What smells like bacon?" The bottle cost $83. They won't take a refund. FML
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Top comments
jbuckets_404 39
There's nothing wrong with that. Aromas are very good at recalling certain memories. :-)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'm more annoyed when cashiers make a comment on everything I buy. Yes, I'm buying potato chips. Yes, that is the new Disney DVD. Hooray, I did find toilet paper to buy, lucky me. Just scan my stuff and let me leave.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
I'm sure the checkout guy really gave a shit and was very impressed that you had a boyfriend. Maybe he'll tell all his friends and they'll start asking you out, because a girl with a boyfriend is infinitely hotter than one without. Now you have a dilemma: are you going to cheat on your imaginary boyfriend? After all he has done for you? Before him, you were a loser and now he's made you the popular girl! I hope your little game was worth it.
jriley4u 17
Someone sounds a little bitter. Must not have worked for you when you tried it, huh?
Ciara Koch 22
Me I k pop
jbuckets_404 39
There's nothing wrong with that. Aromas are very good at recalling certain memories. :-)
GalaxyGirl1123_fml 14
I tend to wear men's perfume too, people usually like it ;)
checamuk 7
That doesn't sound like essential shopping... ;)
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I'm more annoyed when cashiers make a comment on everything I buy. Yes, I'm buying potato chips. Yes, that is the new Disney DVD. Hooray, I did find toilet paper to buy, lucky me. Just scan my stuff and let me leave.