Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, my boyfriend was continuously telling me how great my best friend smelled the other night and how I should wear some perfume that smelled like that. I have the same exact perfume and have been wearing it for months. FML
Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I lied at a store when the checkout person told me the cologne I was buying was for men. I told him it was for my boyfriend. I haven't had a boyfriend in 2 years, I just wanted it to smell like one. FML
Today, I realized that it wasn't my science partner that smelled bad, it was me. How? The guy I have a crush on handed me a stick of deodorant and said, "Please use it." FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, I discovered my new plug-in air freshener smells exactly like my ex-boyfriend's cologne. My friends noticed this, and nobody will believe me when I say it smelled different on the scratch-and-sniff. Now I'm considered a creep. A nostalgic, obsessed creep. FML
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
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Top comments
spursunited 19
Smell random strangers on the bus/subway and when they ask what you're doing stare them straight in the eyes and take the biggest breath possible without breaking eye contact and slowly back away while whispering, "you smell different when you're awake..."
SauceySarah 30
I don't blame you. Guy's cologne smells absolutely incredible if it's the good kind.
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Comments (58)
OopsyDoodle 6
and spray it on a pillow or blanket so sleeping alone doesnt seem so sucky :)
Iamnotfat 16
Just go out more often with your friends, enjoying your life and being in social environments will increase your chances of meeting someone.
AshfariFox 15
Girl, you need to get out there and not be afraid to meet a guy. Have pure confidence in yourself!
Dexter83_fml 17
I use Hugo boss and I do get compliments so I can understand why you do that but seriously go out there and get a boyfriend
ItalianGuy23 6
well it's smell association so can exactly blame you
so_this_is_me 24
When I saw the sample sitting in the pile of mail, I was curious and I took a sniff. It smelled exactly like the stuff my crush wears so I ended up keeping it to smell at random times. I started to feel sad afterward cuz I started to remember that its been awhile since I've had a love life. Just to clarify, I'm still a teen, and the closest thing I've had to a "love life" was a guy I pursued 2 years ago who turned out to be a dirtbag and a psychopath. I haven't tried ever since then. The fact that I haven't tried in 2 years makes me feel so pathetic.
Saraishi 25
Without you explaining the fml further, it's too misleading.
Saraishi 25
Too misleading.
DaRito 25
Guys don't actually smell like cologne, sorry to ruin your dreams.
rileyeliz 3
same!!
ashatash 12
done that no need to be ashamed..ive even put it on my pillow once lol