Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
Today, I was running late for work and grabbed what I thought was my deodorant. Turns out, it was my husband's foot spray. Now I'm at the office smelling like a combination of roses and athlete's foot. FML
Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML
Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant waiting for a table. Some lady walked by, smelling like BO and patchouli oil. I attempted to cover my nose with my sweatshirt, but I thumped a small girl in the process. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, as I came out of changing rooms in a clothes shop, I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walked off, made it a couple of yards, changed my mind, and decided to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I got back, the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML
Today, my love life is so pathetic that when I got a sample of cologne in the mail, I kept sniffing it just to remind myself what a guy smells like. FML
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Top comments
Nazmazh 18
Call me crazy, but I get the sense that this is not a healthy marriage with good communication and mutual respect. Perhaps you ought to consider whether it's best for the two of you to remain in such a volatile relationship.
RichardPencil 32
Way to go, playah! Ya made that homewrecker squirt.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
Way to go, playah! Ya made that homewrecker squirt.
Nikki 17
I hope you didn’t waste too much time coming up with that one..
Nazmazh 18
Call me crazy, but I get the sense that this is not a healthy marriage with good communication and mutual respect. Perhaps you ought to consider whether it's best for the two of you to remain in such a volatile relationship.
mccuish 25
I get the smell of a toxic marriage
kitten79TX 5
What have you done in the past that made her jump to that reaction? I trust my husband 100% because He's never given me reason to doubt His integrity. So if He came home smelling like perfume, I'd comment on it and ask why. And when He told the department store story I'd say, "Makes sense," and that would be the end of it. Unless your wife is just one of those overly-crazy women...?