Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Giving
Today, I woke up after a long night of taking care of my drunken husband. I guess I should feel lucky I don't have a generic, "He wet the bed in his sleep" story, and instead have a unique, "He got out of bed and peed on me" story. FML
Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML
Today, at over 9 months pregnant, I woke up to a wet bed. Convinced my water broke, I woke up my husband and had him drive me to the hospital at 3am. The nurse told me my water was fine, I had just peed the bed. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Thanks babe...
Today, after having hardly any sleep the whole weekend, I was woken up at 3:30 am by the sound of running water. I opened my eyes to find my fiancé peeing in my favorite water bottle. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend occasionally wets the bed. He's 25 and we're moving in together next month. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
The runs
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should have test driven the car before you put it in your garage. You always need to test out the gear shifter by checking how freely it moves, feel how supple the seats are, how much space there is in the trunk for your junk, how quickly and smoothly it accelerates, kick the tires a bit... Wait, what the hell was I talking about?
sweet_candy_ 17
This is something that should be shared before fyl op.
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Comments (279)
sweet_candy_ 17
This is something that should be shared before fyl op.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Diaper timeeee!!
kyarush 10
well sometimes it just happens. its not like he can control it. and some things need to be kept between just you two. not the whole world
KiwiDingo 0
#22- she kept her name etc anon. douche
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
at least he isn't a bed setter, can you imagine trying to live on his salary?
yetanotherginger 19
I love how this has happened once and he's officially labelled a bed wetter. If you ate a stick of carrot instead of chocolate for a snack today, does that mean you must be on a diet? Or diabetic? I want a second opinion, where's that bastard doctor?
DocBastard 40
Ginger, you never paid your bill from your last consultation, you damned deadbeat.
deputy_g 5
well maybe it was a 1 time thing...ppl get drunk at a wedding then pee themselves
AnagenisisZagus 13
#104- I find your response to this a by dramatic. He may have perhaps done this as a one time thing by accident. We don't know his situation entirely, so who are we to simply assume as you said that he had a problem but hadn't felt the need to inform his newly made wife? I must agree with you in telling the OP to deal with their problem rather than complaining about it on a website. Very much so immature.
peaceluv 0
wats ur profile pic of?
deliciouscake 3
I know, right.
mycookiezz 0
boohoo. I'm so sad for the OP who found "the love of their life" and he's not completely perfect?!?!? Oh no, what are you gonna do?!?!? Some people have no one, so suck it up, smile, tell him you love him, and keep living. DAMN...
GunReaper 0
kiwi or #48 your the ****** Douche. she was defending the guys privacy and didn't realize a minor mistake. shut your mouth fatass!
babyale760 0
adult diapers anyone?? :D
pattheaninal 9
people get sick and nervous on trips. so this isn't the worst that can happen..
krushr 3
It was probably just a wet dream. You're supposed to be taking care of that on your honeymoon.
alakomonus 0
lol
AnagenisisZagus 13
#98- Really? Three letters? You crazy son of a bitch. I ought to kick your ass. I would have prefered "lmfpo"(laughing my friggin pancakes off) to that. Go to hell mothafucka. go to hell! Have a wonderful evening/day though.
boatkicker 5
Laughing my friggin pancakes off? I sorta love that. The rest of your comment was obnoxious though.
skiier4life 1
Op, look closer. It isn't pee..... ;)
lwd305 0
124, that comment just put you in the complete fag zone.
runninbrotha 0
some one needs to chill .... or stfu ...
TheDrifter 24
Rubber sheets and no liquids after seven? It worked on my kids when they were two, might work for him.
whatup360 1
wtf you neglect your kids of water? your ****** up , just cause your too lazy to clean the sheets for your babies.. fail parent
Ummmmyeah 0
ummm she said after 7 the kids will be fine if they dont drink for an hour or two
sweet_candy_ 17
I agree with 31 that's mean. You know you could tell them to pee before they go to bed.
stacster 0
hey sweet candy...why don't you go make my dinner because your too stupid to share what your thinking.
DocBastard 40
How about all you silly kids without children of your own shut it and let the grown-ups chat. Not giving your kids eater after 7 is not depriving them of anything. No one will dehydrate if they don't drink overnight, and any pediatrician you ask will give you this advice. Don't try to discuss a subject you know nothing about. It makes you look foolish. Oh and stacster, when you're done eating dinner, why don't you come over here and lick my sack, you chauvinistic ******* scumbag.
MrBond007_fml 6
I really really hope you ment seven, guys. I dont like grammer nazis, but for a second there I realy thought you were making a rape joke, and rape jokes arent funny!
lotuspod 0
if it was a joke don't mean it'd have to be rape there is a thing called group sex some women like having more than 1, 2 or even 6 guys at once
krazy_glu3 0
I agrees with DocBastard... you apparently aren't a parent, so you shouldn't talk. it's not depriving them of anything. since they are kids they go to bed early, like nine or ten. two or three hours without drinking isn't bad. People say to not drink caffiene after 6pm so you won't be wired when it comes to bedtime. Is that depriving people of caffeine?no it's just a smart idea.
TheDrifter 24
Both me and my wife are early risers, so when the kids were that little they went to bed at 8:30, and yes, I did have them go to the bathroom before bed, but that's not going to do you a lot of good if their stomach us still full of water. Trust DocBastard, he's very rarely wrong.
GunReaper 0
why do all the best comments have to be moderated before I can read them? dammit!
LoveMySoldier82 0
If a child were themselves at night and doesn't tell you or is asleep and don't sale up right away the
wolfshadow 4
lol my parents sent me to bed at 8-9 usually. I only wet the bed when I dreamed about peeing or toilets. weird I know.
saraheve1188 5
one thing I can say: BAHAHAHAHAHA
LuxAeterna_fml 0
That's six things.
Aerious 0
No it's one word, so it's therefore one thing.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Except they also said "one thing I can say" so add that to the "BAHAHAHAHAHA" and apparently there were six things they could say.
saraheve1188 5
thank you. one word. :D
zander2413 0
don't be mean ): he can't control it neither can I
rockindyl22 0
Even if it's six words, it's still only one thing
marleyvk 0
Buahahahahah owned!
Edokun 0
get nappies for them x'D
brianjman14 23
If you're on your honeymoon, then you must have slept together at least once, right? Maybe he just had one too many drinks last night and he had a dream and he peed.
ShrukiantheMad 0
It's called abstinence. And if you mean just sleeping, then I agree :-/
brianjman14 23
If they're abstinent, they could have had sex on the night of their marriage, too. In my opinion, though, it's a really bad idea to not have sex until marriage, though.
jessamyeve 0
I hear ya!
MyChemical_fml 0
Says the 13 year old ._.
TheOptimist 0
Don't judge her.
babyale760 0
dude look how old she is. she's 13
DocBastard 40
You should have test driven the car before you put it in your garage. You always need to test out the gear shifter by checking how freely it moves, feel how supple the seats are, how much space there is in the trunk for your junk, how quickly and smoothly it accelerates, kick the tires a bit... Wait, what the hell was I talking about?
FYLDeep 26
We were talking about your bed wetting problem Doc. You'd be surprised how many people have wanted to say something earlier but didn't have the courage to start up the conversation. But it ends now.
DocBastard 40
AH! Right. It turns out that morphine, Valium, and crack all mixed together and injected directly into the penis does wonders for enuresis. Uh, or so my, uh, friend told me.
brianjman14 23
Doc, I agree completely 100%. This is why another reason waiting until marriage is a REALLY bad idea.
BugsBunny1 4
Ehh, what's up, Doc?
DocBastard 40
Please don't tell me that you created this profile simply to utter that one line. That's either really flattering or really freaky. Or maybe freakishly flattering? Flatteringly freakish? Frackerigly fleaty?
MyNameIsBruce 0
I actually thought it was pretty epic.
BugsBunny1 4
Actually Doc, that's where the idea stemmed from... I also liked the idea of the name either way...... And don't worry, Elmer won't find me. O.o hehehe
Oz87 5
agree
15thPrestige 0
卐
SweetieLish 0
Wow 185, I didn't know Justin Bieber read FML!
jessless 0
How romantic.
oliver86 8
to me it seems like he was just drunk
SeasonedLemur 5
Yeah probably I've got a friend that once shat the bed when he was pissed, oh and he was sharing the bed with his girlfriend at the time! Could have been a lot worse OP, could have married my friend Rob!
Vashen 5
if you love the guy, what does it matter?
manzanita2121 6
hell yeah! it's a deal breaker! lol
Pinkanani 12
For better or worse...