Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
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Top comments
PierceTheEman 4
At least he was faithful.
guitarbeast 22
At least he was faithful, but I'm guessing he's gonna be sleeping on the couch for a while
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Comments (150)
db32 6
I agree the OP hearing the sob story is an fml to her. No one wants to hear that someone their spouse finds attractive was hitting on them and that he's disappointed he chose to honor the commitment he made (which i'd consider a major win given the situation). My issue is with those people blindly condemning the husband and automatically assume he's going to cheat given another chance in a similar situation. Maybe the guy is really handsome or just has an easy going manner that made him attractive to the other woman. Who knows? Different strokes... My wife and I are happily married and we're both rational enough to know the other sees attractive people on a daily basis. I know attributes that arouse my wife (some of which I don't possess) and vice versa. Hell, we've even made a fun game of catching each other looking. The point I'm making is that just because you find someone other than your significant other/spouse attractive doesn't automatically make him a scumbag.
thewife5 19
So... You should reward him with a ********. Complain if they cheat and complain if they don't. I'm sure he wasn't putting you down on purpose, he had his beer goggles on, so the chick probably wasn't that hot anyways.
writergirl23 19
He could have cheated on you and he didn't ...
cougar41 8
At least you know he's faithful :-)
escobar07 10
Oh man that is the funniest thing I have ever heard in my life.
alissa222 15
You must lead a rather sad life.
motor_fml 20
If any of you stupid people that say "at least he did not cheat" and "lucky you" are the shit the trailer is parked on. Lucky idiot that is with you is going to get away with all kinds of normal Arkansas shit.
motor_fml 20
If any of you stupid people that say "at least he did not cheat" and "lucky you" are the shit the trailer is parked on. Lucky idiot that is with you is going to get away with all kinds of normal Arkansas shit.
amberbelle 14
Good news, he's not a cheater.
babygrrl257 11
Atleast hes not a cheater???
Keiren 14
Why was my first thought Al Bundy?