Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
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Top comments
PierceTheEman 4
At least he was faithful.
guitarbeast 22
At least he was faithful, but I'm guessing he's gonna be sleeping on the couch for a while
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Comments (150)
Grimnirwher9 21
Well at least he loves you enough not to cheat on you with the beautiful woman mentioned earlier.
isallwaysme 27
drunk words are sober thoughts
c0c0_fml 16
Who cares if he didn't cheat? Clearly, he was desperate to cheat so it comes back to the same thing.
omart3 6
i agree with #119. people don't seem to realize the "sadly i'm married to you" part, who says that sadly they are married? not to mentioned being out drinking til 2am when you got a wife at home.
actingpickle09 3
OP, you and your husband need to sit down and talk. It's a good thing that he didn't cheat(especially while drunk) but it's a little concerning that he seems to have regret about not cheating. I think you guys just need to talk and get it all out in the open. Decide where to go from there. Counseling might be a good option. I'm sure everything will work out for the best.
lokman_fml 7
Better than him coming home at 4am with a big smile on his face!
DejaM815 4
Hun as long as he loves you enough to come home let him cry all he wants
AloysiusWeasley 15
"I can fix that!"
talloctopus 7
What a guy you married..
Ugi 27
Two positives from this: He didn't cheat. You now know that he's "at risk". If you want to keep him, now might be the time to remind him of why he married you before he stops caring that he did.