Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
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Top comments
PierceTheEman 4
At least he was faithful.
guitarbeast 22
At least he was faithful, but I'm guessing he's gonna be sleeping on the couch for a while
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Comments (150)
mskimbelinapham 5
I'd punch him in the face and divorce his ass.
Fooberry 9
Well at least he stayed faithful?
purpletealeaf 2
Divorce would be the best option here. Seems like he wants to cheat on you, which would be enough for me to want to end it.
love_me_electric 20
If this is the first time something like this has happened I wouldn't really say it's divorce worthy. It's not like he ACTUALLY cheated on her. Although marriage counselling might be a good idea.
benhd1 14
"Hmm that person is more attractive than my spouse, I would love to have sex with them, oh wait I'm married, never mind." This is healthy thinking, if you manage to marry someone who has this much self control, and when DRUNK I might add, (and as evident by many FMLs, many do not) then you've got yourself a healthy spouse. I don't think marriage counselling is needed, but a face to face chat shouldn't be out of the question.
awkward_gothlady 32
Go out, drink just enough alcohol to smell like it, come home, pretend you're way drunker than you actually are, and cry about how you couldn't go home with some hot (and rich!) guy, because sadly, you're married to him. See how he likes that.
yenidewi 11
He's a faithful one ... lucky you ... now tidy yourself, and be as pretty as you can be ... He luv you whether he is sobber or drunk
iiTzNeeNerz 26
The fact that his restraint brought him to tears shows that he REALLY wants to cheat on you... He didn't cheat, but he has contemplated the idea. I would be worried. Eventually he might just let those hidden inhibitions take him away.
olpally 33
Ahh drunk nights... He's a good man... Keep an eye on him though... And he was honest, don't fret too much op.
LexieWins 0
It's human nature to lust. And human stupidity to be that honest!
natsaysheyyy 16
If he's so miserable with you, why doesn't he take his miserable ass out of the house and get a divorce. WANTING to cheat is still pretty bad.
AholeCop 11
Most people will be tempted at some point during their marriage. The fact is, he was drunk and made a decision to be faithful. Crying on your shoulder about it was weird... He probably should have kept it to himself. Sounds like he was bragging about a woman finding him desirable, an ego boost.
thewife5 19
I know! She should of told him, "of course she was hitting on you. You're hot" maybe he doesn't get his ego boosted at home