Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
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Top comments
PierceTheEman 4
At least he was faithful.
guitarbeast 22
At least he was faithful, but I'm guessing he's gonna be sleeping on the couch for a while
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Comments (150)
jollyton 10
Awe! At least even drunk he still knows he's married..
winkydog4056 16
Sadly, sounds like something my other half would say to me.....
sassy2085 16
The old saying is I don't care where he gets his appetite from just as long as he eats at home. This is what he did and while drunk your moral compass is not working at peak efficiency so kudos to him. As for the beautiful woman with beer goggles on she was a probably just average and he wouldn't recognize her in the cold sober light of day.
agentx52 13
At least he came home. He could've cheated on you.
deltoramastr 12
At least he was faithful :-). If he didn't give a shit then just being married wouldn't have stopped him
forever_born 6
Well I would have been your not anymore but then again he didn't cheat.
naughtylez82 4
I HATE men!! Fyl indeed op
PhishloverA 14
He was drunk OP. He didn't know what he was saying and I'm sure he didn't mean it. How do you know he wasn't making up the part where the woman hit on him? Maybe he was already drunk and therefore interpreted some woman saying something to him as 'hitting on him'
jamesrod885 6
what's he doing at 2am anyway?...his leash is mighty long...
spottyblanket 8
To those saying at least he was faithful blah blah....no, op, show no mercy. He needs to make it up to you, fast. His words were very hurtful, and spending all night drinking and coming home at 2am...NOT ON.