Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML
Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML
Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML
Explain yourself
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML
Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years drunkenly introduced me to another very special lady. His wife. FML
Today, I found out that my husband lied a few nights ago and was actually drinking with another woman at her house until after midnight. This woman is his best friend’s ex-fiancée, and she's been hitting on my husband for as long as I can remember. FML
It's all too much
Today, I came home to my wife who was drunk and sobbing. I’d left her alone with my kids from my first marriage along with ours and I guess they acted up so bad they made her break her sobriety. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Top comments
PierceTheEman 4
At least he was faithful.
guitarbeast 22
At least he was faithful, but I'm guessing he's gonna be sleeping on the couch for a while
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Comments (150)
florido_fml 10
At 2 am.. Sounds to me like he coulda went to her house, had a good time and tried to play it off...
caplox 6
Do you know how hard it is to lie when you're drunk?
sukiboo 3
Actually it's not too hard and unfortunately I have seen personally people I thought I knew better do it with ease. If the person has a high tolerance and the right motive they are no different than a sober person doing the same thing.
sugoine 12
I would go out, come home at 4 AM, without my panties... I'm not telling you to cheat, just toss them somewhere. Payback is a bitch.
ohmandapants 17
But he didn't cheat on her so...why make him believe that she was unfaithful? That just makes her look bad.
JerryH 9
17 just went full retard, you should never go full retard
PhannyPack09 8
Drunken minds speak sober thoughts.
Phaeno 7
Thank you for that enlightening sorority girl logic.
samasara 20
Sure, he was faithful... But if he's not happy with you, leave him.
writergirl23 19
I really don't like how people divorce/dump at the drop of a hat these days. Relationships are meant to be 100/100 that way if one person is giving 0 it's still 100. And you never know whether OP was not helping things with her attitude towards things. While I'm not saying that one person in a relationship is always to blame, a person if they aren't acting on their best behaviour can make their partner not love them quite as much.
samasara 20
92. I agree. But... If he isn't happy, and doesn't love op, what's the point?
militarybrat 21
Just because he finds someone else more sexually attractive when hes not sober does not mean he doesnt love or is happy with his wife. I know im not a 10, my husband knows hes not a 10, we r still happy and love each other.
EpicSquishii 21
Wait.... He's "Dating" you but he's your Husband? What the ever-loving **** does that mean?
twinkiefeets 17
I thought the same thing. Dating and married. What!
motor_fml 20
He is no better than a guy that would cheat. I say next time he goes out drinking you should change the locks on your trailer.
Covy 3
Beta
Celina_Lune 20
Was the comment about her living in a trailer, supposed to refer to the fact that she lives in Arkansas?
wlddog 14
Uh Arkansas? Arkansas has the highest % of millionaires in the country. I live in a 2,500 square foot HOUSE. What makes you think the whole state is full of houses on wheels? Let me guess, Bill Clinton is the only thing in the state that cant get hitched. (his wife married him for the political gain)
smallshaft 10
I am from Arkansas, let them keep thinking it is full of trailers and rednecks. I don't want to retire from the service and not be able to come back home. Don't let our secret out now!
motor_fml 20
In this scenario I did not need any location to make that assumption. I know no-one that would ever tell that story with the ending being FML. It would end "I gave his stupid ass a real reason to cry".
BubbleGrunge 18
Welcome to FML! Where every FML ends in, you guessed it, FML!!!
motor_fml 20
Let me make it clearer. The situation should of never made it that far. If my husband started to cry on my shoulder and talking about another women BOOM the shit would of stopped right there. No FML. No crying or hearing more of the bullshit. Does that make it easier to understand? Lately a lot of people getting ****** over and taking it.
wlddog 14
110 I think this FML originated from the punchline of a joke. But you are taking it way too hard.
CuriousAlien 7
Tell him what happened when he gets sober, then make him forget ALL about the beautiful woman. ;)
sweetmama88 6
You should be happy that he doesn't cheat on you !
AllyyK 9
Really? So, she should be happy that he was crying because he is married and couldn't have sex with another girl? That's almost just as bad as cheating. Also it doesn't say that he hasn't cheated on her before, maybe just in this FML he didn't.
AllyyK 9
No one should be happy if their significant other comes home drunk and crying because they wish they could cheat or have sex with other people. Obviously he isn't happy in his marriage, and saying she should be happy because 'atleast he didn't cheat' is just crazy.
Gordon12345 7
Why is everyone acting like it's a miracle that he didn't cheat while drunk? Being drunk isn't an excuse to cheat, and since he cried it shows he wishes he had. I don't think he sounds like a good guy, sorry OP.
malibumacky 1
Looks like WWIII is about to start!