Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
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Top comments
hatesfate 6
Please don't have children with this idiot. Genes as stupid as those need to stop spreading..
missanderson813 4
Shouldnt bail him out. He needs to learn from his stupidity.
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Comments (142)
hommiecogley 8
He was only trying to have some fun. But I would make stay the night cause he could of killed someone or even himself. No drinking and driving. He needs to learn that.
comeatmebroo6254 1
And that's why dumb men don't marry dumb women. There's a world of possibilities without a responsible one in the relationship.
vbmg152 19
I'd definitely leave him there for the night!! What was he doing out drinking in the middle of the night, anyway? He should've been home where he belongs!
circulareasoning 2
Well...? Who won the drag race?
pexy_fml 16
He Is not stupid he is drunk
iluvpm1999 1
Divorce his ass
The_Troller 14
Looks like we've got a comedian here.
SarcasticGuy 5
There isn't a single person alive that hasn't done something stupid, just not everyone's been caught. Don't worry he'll be out as soon as he's sober and hopefully learn from it.
twisted_cherub 14
I've done embarrassing things, made stupid decisions about fashion or guys I dated, sure. I even put myself at risk for a few broken bones once or twice. But this is beyond normal stupidity. He was drag racing DRUNK. He could have killed himself or others. He's lucky the cops picked his sorry butt up before he did real damage.
SarcasticGuy 5
There isn't a single person alive that hasn't done something stupid, just not everyone's been caught. Don't worry he'll be out as soon as he's sober and hopefully learn from it.
leannez 21
The amount of deaths caused by drunk drivers and by street racers, separately, is terrifying. He's lucky that his dumb a** only went to jail for a day.