Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML
Today, I woke up feeling crabby because of lack of sleep. I noticed what woke me up, it was man's best friend. He kept moving around and wouldn't stop rotating in circles to get comfy. I told him to lay down and he looked at me, did another circle and lowered down, butthole first on my forehead. FML
Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
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Top comments
toowie_fml 20
Does your rabbit always roam free in your room?
ayyy_bro 26
Shouldn't your rabbit be in a cage at night or something...
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Comments (111)
koreamaniac101 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Not so very sweet...
PIGaming 21
How would you know?
wastedpenguin 14
cuz a damn rabbit is ******** on ops neck, its pretty universal to know thats not so sweet
AFCCT 7
Last time I checked(and yes, I check often...), rabbits shit pellets. Not a stream of shit, unless it has diarrhea. So I'm going to assume it was pissing.
incoherentrmblr 22
Is your rabbit R. Kelly?...
cakefete2 31
So the R stood for Rabbit? You learn something new everyday.
thefastnfuryass 14
"I wanna piss on you!"
TourettesGuyFTW 26
"drip drip drip..."
Stryker78cRS 15
YDI for not having your rabbit in a cage
Stryker78cRS 15
VISIT ME lol
fmyinternet 13
Some rabbits are the size of small dogs, so it could be a larger rabbit species that doesn't need a cage
NereidAlbel 14
I thought it was bad when mine decides to groom my eyebrows and eyelids to wake me up...
StiffPvtParts 43
Yesterday, I awoke to the sight of my cat, puking out a dead mouse on my bed. Right after he had finished puking it out, he just looked at me, turned around and went right back to sleep like he didn't see anything wrong with what he just did e_e
Norvi 26
I've woken up to the delight of a bunny snuggling next to me, just to pee against my side.
calipilot227 16
It means he loves you. But yeah, it isn't pleasant.
cakefete2 31
No, he's marking his territory.
mikbrooke 25
#62 rabbits mark their territory by wiping their chin on things. its where their scent is. they dont pee on things to mark their territory.
Norvi 26
I think it was because the rabbit was lazy to get off the bed and it was a cold night. Didn't help that she'd been to the vet earlier that day either.
kewpiesuicide 29
I've never had a rabbit just pee on itself...That seems like something's wrong with him
toowie_fml 20
Does your rabbit always roam free in your room?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
If so, it seems a little deserved. Unless it's litter trained (which it obviously isn't).
iAlissa 34
My bunny has run of the house, sort of like a cat. Of course we "bunny-proofed" the house, but we have litter pans in various rooms on all 3 levels. Not once have I seen a turd go outside the litter box. Depends on the bunny though. My other bunny ***** everywhere and anywhere
ayyy_bro 26
Shouldn't your rabbit be in a cage at night or something...
Missyeru 14
My thoughts exactly!
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Children are not the only spoilt creatures on the planet.
equitationbound 22
I agree! Mine is litter trained but she has her area for overnight, even my dogs go in crates at night.
kewpiesuicide 29
I used to have a rabbit who could escape from any cage I put him in! Every morning, I'd wake up to him moseying around the house
magnetic_aura 26
I was thinking the same thing!
KiaKarma 11
He's Just Marking His Territory, OP. You Should Feel Loved (;
OysterPearls 33
Would you like it if your boyfriend "marked his territory" on you every morning, to make you feel loved?
CinnamonBunny 16
#6, why have you capitalised the first letter of every word in your comment? Sorry for going wildly off-topic here, but I am genuinely curious about why people do this. Is it a style thing or did they just completely get the wrong end of the stick at school?
kewpiesuicide 29
Rabbits mark their territory with the scent on their chins, not urine
PrincessCastiel 27
Silly rabbit, trix are for kids!
MinaGermania 12
Maybe he just feels comfortable on you, like he has found a secure place. Though it's a shitty way to express that kind of affection. ;)
ayyy_bro 26
You're an idiot...
conman531 23
Why isn't your bunny in a cage?
parism143 28
You let your rabbit run free? Or should I say... hop?