Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
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Top comments
hatesfate 6
Please don't have children with this idiot. Genes as stupid as those need to stop spreading..
missanderson813 4
Shouldnt bail him out. He needs to learn from his stupidity.
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Comments (142)
KSG472 3
Haha he's ruthless!
jim_bolicious 4
Only in America
LennyComa 39
Drunken Drag Racing. Your husband is lucky he isn't in jail for Death by Drunk or dangerous driving. FYL OP and make your husbands life hell until the halfwitted twat grows a ******* Brain cell.
diva239 8
I would leave him there in jail.
deathtothepix 26
I'm surprised he wasn't driving screaming '**** tha police.'
hawkey126 0
Yes. Yes it does.
angelaaortega 2
You picked a winner!
ryggsekk 8
I agree, your life sucks but you deserved it for marrying a retard
aJaguarinRed 9
Yet another sign Idiocracy was not just a movie but a revelation. Next thing he says will be " I thought you was on the pill or some shit!"
anongrl5846 19
Lol