Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
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Top comments
hatesfate 6
Please don't have children with this idiot. Genes as stupid as those need to stop spreading..
missanderson813 4
Shouldnt bail him out. He needs to learn from his stupidity.
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Comments (142)
reddudeover 2
He was tired of the guys ragging on his Prius, he had to prove the wrong.
winnerme123 8
Everyone Always go down on the Prius But I agree
RedPillSucks 33
Going down on the Prius?
winnerme123 8
Goes into hater mode... Didn't mean it like that
shadowcat13 0
The Prius is not my choice in a car, but i have gone 96 in one and i could have easily done 100 in it.
br0ccoli 15
"Officer, I was not drag racing. I am clearly male. And for that matter, this is not booze. It is just...ok, maybe this is booze."
tony1891 22
this is the type of stuff you usually watch on Cops but don't wanna be apart of. but nonetheless I'd let him stay a while
ICastillo 25
You Drink, You Drive, You Lose!!!
Meowfml 8
My dad's friends used to drag race in front of a police station. Wanna know why? They were never there.
shadowcat13 0
Finally, a sensible person.
FDoA 1
Vin Diesel made it look too easy, obviously.
rattusrattus 19
Drunken ideas: rarely as good as they seem.
Alex1014 0
He was prob. Screaming Yolo!!
daminantion 14
Kids like you clearly have dads like OP's hubby.. U prob cnt sp3ll 3 wordZ if ur lyfe dep'd on it
Rowdey 10
64 - He used one abbreviation, and one anagram. he misspelled nothing..
jlentriken 8
64 you wanker
florido_fml 10
If he cared for his car he wouldn't drink and race. What if something happened to it?
twisted_cherub 14
"If he cared for his car"? How about his life? The lives of others, maybe?
unknown_user5566 27
54- I think his comment may have been sarcastic, not him literally placing a car above safety, etc.
maxisis_fml 6
What an idiot