Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
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Top comments
hatesfate 6
Please don't have children with this idiot. Genes as stupid as those need to stop spreading..
missanderson813 4
Shouldnt bail him out. He needs to learn from his stupidity.
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Comments (142)
Sinsation 7
I guess that means he didn't win the race.
shadowcat13 0
Best comment yet
doglover569 0
At least he remembered your phone number!! See not so stupid...
Michael_92 20
Well it is his wife after all.
ConesOfDeath 0
Based off of this FML I'm guess the husband has been there before. Probably has speed dial on the jail phone by now as well.
1710_fml 0
Classic fun drunk times going past the cop shop makes me think he's a teenager
Michael_92 20
Nah guys can be stupid at any age.
Devin91 20
If I did something like that I know that I'd be left there for at least a night so maybe you should keep him there so he'll know not to be so stupid.
Ozuru 11
The gene pool needs a little chlorine...Nah, just kidding. It needs a lot.
theneatoburrito 8
So who won the race?
ManInTheMachine 20
The husband. To jail.
ICastillo 25
I guess he lost haha
connerwonner 7
Were we supposed to laugh?
sammyluvspugs 4
Dont bail him out!!
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
Sure he drag raced which is absolutely idiotic. But he was wasted. He was not in his tight mind. That gives him a tiny bit of slack. Although he could have been killed or killed somebody soo easily
ThatKidTyler 6
He shouldn't have gotten drunk in the first place.
BobbieH 19
No, he should not have driven after getting drunk. If he is of age and wanted to get drunk; that's his business. Drunk driving is the problem here. That and being so incredibly stupid that he was drag racing in front of a police station.
hatesfate 6
He was in his right mind when he put the drink to his lips, that's all that matters... Considering he is married I'm sure he's had a drink before (at his wedding reception) and knows he's an idiot while drunk.