Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I called the cops to let them know that a drunk man was driving dangerously down my road. About an hour later, I was going to the store and got pulled over for speeding by the cop I called. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got married to the man I love even though my whole family told me not to marry him. He got into a drunken fight at our wedding and is now in jail. He apparently won't be getting out any time soon due to charges I didn't know about. FML
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Top comments
hatesfate 6
Please don't have children with this idiot. Genes as stupid as those need to stop spreading..
missanderson813 4
Shouldnt bail him out. He needs to learn from his stupidity.
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Comments (142)
hatesfate 6
Please don't have children with this idiot. Genes as stupid as those need to stop spreading..
thatgurltori 6
he's a keeper.
chowE_fml 4
Hope OP doesn't bail him out. He deserves some "vroom" to his butt
mjoyn98 1
If OP's husband had posted this incident as an FML there would be a lot more YDI..
itsame0987 18
My question is did op know he was this dumb when she married him? If so then she shouldn't be surprised. Op leave his butt in jail for a day or two so you can work on your "I am so disappointed in you" face.
alexup24 13
I wonder if he was in a prius
Meettitan 14
55- you mean like 69's pic?
winnerme123 8
Why does everyone hate the Prius ... Oh yeah I hate it too.
Boygenius50 8
Kia's are for straight men.
alexup24 13
"You were drag racing in a prius?" reply: "I don't win a lot..."
Sparks808 10
It's a quote from Horrible Bosses. Loved that part. And personally, I love my Prius.
taco_bender 12
"Its like a tampon on wheels". Other guys.
skyeyez9 25
Then the drag race would have reached a maximum speed of 36mph.
TheDoctor10 28
I don't win a lot.
stinkystu7 0
Wow.
jewfroditmer 7
Thanks for that stinky, well done.
kickuwithmyfist 1
World Of Warcraft?
sarahlouise0506 10
Words of Wisdom? Clearly not.
free2speak 14
Worst of the worsts?
stinkystu7 0
6- your welcome
missanderson813 4
Shouldnt bail him out. He needs to learn from his stupidity.
KiddNYC1O 22
Yeah and it is strong in this one.
SkoomaKi 28
This guy knows how to enjoy the finer things in life. Although, I wouldn't bail him out. He can learn from his very idiotic mistakes.
Axipiter 24
Double thumbs up. Fun as it sounds, there are just some things you CAN'T do without repercussions.
NoisyNykkii 10
With that level of idiocy, I think OPs husband is better off in jail indeed.
keepmeonthedl 7
Is it wrong that I think you should let him stay there for a night? Maybe that would scare some sense into him.
COOL__Coal 12
Yeah the scared straight program for adults.
Vegeto30294 19
Something tells me he won't be scared "straight" if he's in jail.
shadowcat13 0
Well this guy obviously isnt a pussy. So a few days in a county jail probably wouldn't do much.
airforce987 20
He might have thought he was a hobbit going past Isengard. "The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm! It's the last thing they'll expect."
coldashell 23
I was thinking the same thing.
airforce987 20
If you couldn't tell, I was watching LOTR2 when I posted that lol
ChloeC926 9
Lol nice! i luv LOTR
doglover569 0
You married him and his stupidity. Happiness to the both of you...
nofearjenshere 12
He deserves to be in jail for the night! I cant believe someone could be that dumb.
mmike13 2
There you go thumbed u up
ohmandapants 17
^ do you want a cookie? Just the thumb up would have sufficed. 10-Lots of people are that dumb unfortunately...somehow natural selection allowed it...
ChrisG93 8
Wait! If I thumb her up do I get a cookie? Or were you joking?
nofearjenshere 12
I'll give you a cookie! Free cookies for everyone!!
ChrisG93 8
Thank you! I'm always down for some cookies.
ICastillo 25
Damn 82 she threw you under the bus haha
Michael_92 20
I bet it was something like "I bet you don't have the balls to drag race in front of the police".....well we can see how it ended
thiscrazything 1
Or maybe they were too drunk to pick a route that didn't include the PD.
thatKidzmOm 10
I hope, for your sake, you don't have any kids with him. At some point, we all have to grow up. Apparently he hasn't reached that point yet.