Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML
Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML
Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML
Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
Today, the VP of my company stopped by my desk to personally deliver praise on my recent performance. I watched in helpless horror as the noxious fart I had just released slapped him in the face. He was too polite to leave but gagged through his entire speech. If farts can kill careers... FML
Today, I held in an explosive fart during a co-worker's rant and waited a few seconds after he left the room to release the Kraken. Forgetting something, he returned mid-fart. Before either of us could say anything, our boss came into the room. FML
Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
They were not amused because you didn't light your fart on fire, it would've given a more explosive start to the presentation.
Sinsation 7
Silence is not so Golden.
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Comments (100)
Sinsation 7
Silence is not so Golden.
RaggleFrock 13
And smelly
causticgirl 6
You will now forever be known as "Sir Farts A Lot" or "Mc Stinky" around the office. Time to start looking for new employment.
chowE_fml 4
Now op will be the 'Butt' of all the office jokes.
kayla_ann0o 9
It's that kind of moment that calls for a "that was easy" button. Keeps it less awkward.
randii_17 11
I'm surprised that top comment isn't quoting the movie Step Brothers. I couldn't be the only one thinking it...
amandajlucas2015 2
The only reason they don't find it funny is because they are stuck up assholes who don't think their shit stinks but believe me it does it all does
nictransitglory 4
But it can be deadly
cr3ativity 15
It could possibly brown instead
hatesfate 6
Actually the poop particals as a result of a fart could be brown... The gas from a fart can not be seen by the naked eye... Don't believe me? Ask someone to fart while you put your eye to their ass... Just be careful of pink eye. ;-)
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Did you give everyone in the room a pink eye?
Devin91 20
Hopefully you did a hell of a presentation. But the embarrassment will blow over soon, no need to stress over the small stuff.
kikiray 3
Lol blow over.. No pun intended...
chowE_fml 4
Won't blow over completely until OP checks their undies for accidental poo
1poohbear5 7
By the sound of it, it wasn't small haha
yasssx3 6
It's one of those moments where you're never gonna get over it. As in like 3 years later your still gonna be like 'Mother of God' and be just as embarrassed as the first time.
dannyice 2
Isn't it 'oh god, why'
gamercanadian 11
Come to think of it I don't remember the last time I had those monstrous farts..... Oh wait that yesterday, during my presentation.
The_Troller 14
Who are you talking to?
AwkwardPartyBear 24
#38 Himself.
SkoomaKi 28
They were not amused because you didn't light your fart on fire, it would've given a more explosive start to the presentation.
Mariebaz 11
For all we know, it could well have been explosive.
EnterSandman_fml 20
There's more than one way to get an audience fired up. They'll have a blast I'm sure.
ShyAnn29 15
Can you imagine explaining the explosion? Fireman: So, how'd this happen? OP: Well, um.....I thought I'd light my fart, but I had a bigger fart than usual, and it exploded
ShyAnn29 15
That really was funnier in my mind lol
ShyAnn29 15
This app is messing up, sorry
ScaughtieHolden 11
Sounds like it was the longest 2 or 3 seconds of OP's life.
Michael_92 20
That's one way to make sure all eyes are on you.
ralenti 3
this makes me cringe so much. i feel bad for you. :-(
nofearjenshere 12
How exactly does this make you cringe?
SkoomaKi 28
How would you not cringe? OP was in front of SENIOR employees and let out a 2-3 second fart. It's incredibly embarrassing and very cringe-worthy.
reddudeover 2
11 - it's called EMPATHY, I cringe from the embarrassment op must have felt letting out a wet shart in front of important colleagues.
hecallsmedarlin 7
28 - ew. I do not believe op said anything about it being wet... In that case he would of mentioned about asking for a few minutes to go change... I hope anyway.
ICastillo 25
Well at least all the pressure is gone. Well you let them have a whiff of your smelf.
Doribella98 14
They should understand that sometimes farts are hard to hold in- and that they can be random. Hope your presentation was great, though.
Roflsauruz 12
Maybe if it was so hard to hold it in, he could...plug it? With... Something...... O_o
geko911 22
What? Stick your finger down your skirt and up your ass and hope it works? Make a ball with a sheet of paper and try to make it fit down there? Ooohhh well yes genius that's a marvelous idea!
nofearjenshere 12
That is the kind of moment when you play it off with humor.
ICastillo 25
Ya he should have been like did you guys here that barking spider?
kayla_ann0o 9
No he shoulda said " hey guys you hear that asshole talking shit behind me?"
theneatoburrito 8
That's the moment you try to play it cool. Just be like, "Ahhhh, sorry bros. I've been holding that one in all day!".