Express yourself
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while changing my tampon in a public restroom, a toddler crawled under the door of my stall and asked what I was doing. I had to wait until I'd finished to open the door and let her out. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML
Today, the phone rang while I was on the toilet. I asked my 3-year-old daughter to answer it, only for her to loudly say, "Mommy's on the toilet pooping." FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
Today, I went shopping with my mother. I needed to use the toilet, so entered a restaurant. After I left the toilet, my mother, who was near the restaurant's entrance, called out and asked, "Did you flush it?" Everyone heard her. And I'm 22 years old. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom in a mall. As I was in the stall, a woman tried to open it. I yelled out that's it was occupied but she kept shaking it to open it. It came up to the point where she had to crawl under the door to see that I was there. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Jall8089 9
My daughter is 20 now, but I will never forget that day when she was in a bathroom stall with me at 3 years old, and yelled “Ew - I hate your butt!” as if I had some kind of deformity or really bad hygiene or something.
Crowned Sataness 12
why be embarrassed because you were in the bathroom for the same reason as everyone else? it's not like peeing is taboo
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (3)
Jall8089 9
My daughter is 20 now, but I will never forget that day when she was in a bathroom stall with me at 3 years old, and yelled “Ew - I hate your butt!” as if I had some kind of deformity or really bad hygiene or something.
Crowned Sataness 12
why be embarrassed because you were in the bathroom for the same reason as everyone else? it's not like peeing is taboo
Chazzster 32
After divorcing my ex, I was living in an apartment complex with a pool. I took my daughter to the pool and I was talking to a woman probably in her mid 20’s. My 7 year old daughter came up and started telling the lady “My daddy is 30.” I am pretty sure that she was trying to keep me from getting to know the young lady…. Kids say stuff - Sometimes cute, sometimes intentionally embarrassing, and sometimes just to get attention.