Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML
Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied, "Well I was looking for your boobs but… apparently you have none." FML
Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML
Today, I took my crush to see a movie. During the movie, I made a move and put my arm around her. As I reached over, my hand went straight into the popcorn tub, and I knocked it over. It spilled everywhere, all over her lap, all over me, and on the floor. I spent the next 15 minutes trying to clean up, while she awkwardly avoided eye contact. FML
Today, my crush was giving a presentation in class. I zoned out and began staring off into space - which happened to be in the exact direction of his crotch. When I realized what I was doing, I quickly looked up at his face. He was already looking at me, with an expression of severe discomfort. FML
Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML
Today, my family and I were laying on my parents' bed watching a movie. My dad wrapped his arm around me and began rubbing my shoulder. That would have been fine, if it actually had been my shoulder and not my boob. Needless to say, we were both mortified. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to ask my crush to a movie. What I didn't realise is that she would bring a "friend" along, and that I would have to sit next to them making out for 2 hours. FML
Today, I finally had an opportunity to flirt with the guy I have a crush on. We danced together all night and everything was going well… too well apparently, because out of nowhere, he kissed my sister, who knew about my crush on him but still kissed him back. FML
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
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Top comments
Pyapi 20
Maybe he has a thing for armpits instead of boobs??
juliapow22 5
You should probably start working out
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Comments (84)
ZombieRaptor 5
Ouch, he may not be the brightest of people possibly?
apollojon 11
#26 some people just dont enjoy having their armpit fondled, OP for example. If its not enjoyable by both parties involved, then they need to change it up.
dancinwookie 21
Do you think he smelled his hand afterwards and thought to himself, "wtf?" I bet he did.
cryssycakesx3 23
at least it didn't tickle. it'd be much worse if you were trying not to squirm about, while holding back laughter. he would've thought you're a crazy person.
Sangue0608 26
@55 as usual your comment made my day
juliapow22 5
You should probably start working out
onealmxwilson 18
What does working out have to do with the size of her boobs?
onealmxwilson 18
Wait I think I see what you're thinking. I was thinking that she was embarrassed to tell him because she had small boobs, not because she had a lot of fat. Either could be the case I guess, but I assumed the first option.
breakinlegs 19
I assumed the same as you but then I read the title and it makes more sense!
babygurll19 10
Yes work those pits!
yesnid 2
Boobs are made of fat and the thin strands of the glands that produce milk. The first thing to go when a woman exercises is her boobs.
Harpy20 24
Not always the case yesnid.
rllyfrickenbored 17
dude he/she meant her armpits.
Curlytwirly22 17
Third
Nightwing98 22
6th (to thumb you down)
chutney_02 22
One of many (to notice you both posted unrelated comments)
tnlander 20
Tell the fool. Men need guidance.
Pyapi 20
Maybe he has a thing for armpits instead of boobs??
oooohmygosh 8
Just draw him a little map!
Ibberkongen 4
Apparently he needs a big map..
Amazing_Taylor_ 9
Okay either he is really stupid or he has an armpit fetish.
Jessj958 19
Or they are young. I mean, who the hell mistakes an armpit for a boob?!
kittcatt 8
Its pretty easy if they have flabby underarms so long as it was fondling over the shirt it would feel the same, if he was feeling under the shirt then it is slightly worrying that he didn't notice the lack of nipple. Or if OP is wearing the wrong size bra she could have rolls of fat on the side under her arms in which case getting fitted for a new bra would solve the problem.
Emiler98 11
You could have rearranged yourself so you were sitting right in front of him and he would see that he feeling up the wrong part.
cryssycakesx3 23
or maybe it just felt similar. I'm guessing it was below the actually crotch of her arm. soft skin is soft skin...
cryssycakesx3 23
wrong comment reply. apologies.
vango_fml 7
Maybe he just really likes armpits? At least you know he likes you
martin8337 36
Someone needs to start walking around the block a few times every day.
TunaFireStarter 16
How exactly does walking work out the armpit?
martin8337 36
Helps get rid of body fat.