Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, my friend decided it was funny to burp in my face. The burp was actually vomit. We were in the food court at the mall. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
The fart probably was a made of 2 week old food stuck in her fat encrusted gut, obese people need to sort it out with their bumper car looking arses.
TheForgetfulOne 12
Do people not know how to say 'Excuse me" anymore ?
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Comments (116)
hannahsnyder69 16
Words can describe how terrible that situation must have been.
Virtual_BS 13
*can NOT!
Virtual_BS 13
^ I'm sure it's a much worse experience than words could ever make it out to be. No-one deserves to have their food farted on. Ever.
MzZombicidal 36
It drives me up the wall when a person is so unbelievably rude. I don't care if you're 400lbs, if you fart in my face, you're gonna have bigger issues than your weight.
Whatapuffchild 23
oh america..the big and beautiful
AestheticGuy 21
Lets just clarify that those two words should never be in the same sentence when referring to certain humans.
armyaggie 11
Don't worry, under Obamacare fat people will be denied healthcare, so they'll disappear.
Thorzix 23
The U.S.A will be cop-less, then.
crazytwinsmom 25
Maybe the people who down voted this have never heard of lighting farts on fire. Funny stuff Noor!
Grauncho 27
Maybe she thought she was doing you a favor by flavoring your food with her fecal air.
buddy51 23
I strongly suspect fatty queefed! And you know, OP, it ain't over until the fat lady expels trapped gasses either anally or vaginally! She fart/queefed in your general direction....
Ins0mau 20
Shush!
Barriaultcory 16
My greatest fear
badgirl00069 19
I'm a curvy girl but s&%* that's just nasty hate food courts for the exact reason plus the always smell and people always seem to be watching u eat Lmao like the hungry
AestheticGuy 21
Being fat, is not 'curvy', curvy is having large hips, a small waist, and big boobs. Kim Kardashian, as annoying as she is, is curvy, but notice how she is not at all overweight, not even slightly. You are just fat.
FimogenFeels 14
The problem isn't really that she's obese; it's that she was rude and farted right where you were eating. Everyone's talking about her weight. Sorry OP, that had to have been disgusting.
SlackerEmeritus 13
Well, OP felt that her weight was somehow relevant to the story (it actually wasn't) and it seems FML has some kind of no-fatties policy in place judging by the comments.