Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I had a dictation test. The whole classroom was silent, but I suddenly needed to fart. Not to break the silence, I wanted to fart slowly in the hope it would be silent. It didn't make the fart less obvious, it just made it longer, so that everyone noticed and started laughing. FML
Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
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Top comments
lucie91_fml 12
it happens... once i was talking to these guys and my friend came from behind me and scared me... i let it ripped... oh i am a girl... oh they heard...
RichardPencil 32
You should have clapped your hands at the same time and the lady would have thought she earned an applause-break for her comedy act.
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Comments (5)
lucie91_fml 12
it happens... once i was talking to these guys and my friend came from behind me and scared me... i let it ripped... oh i am a girl... oh they heard...
RichardPencil 32
You should have clapped your hands at the same time and the lady would have thought she earned an applause-break for her comedy act.
siggy_mcsigx 22
Since when are people so dramatic about their farts?! Enough of these FMLs thanks....
zuckerburg 21
So what did she tell you that was so funny?
SaintPanda 1
i found that the easiest thing to do in a situation like this one, is to squeeze it out as slowly and silent as possible whilst also pressing your butt cheeks together, while also trying not to do anything else at the same time,